Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
"you the shit cause i actually digg you
nahhhh, i'm [that dude] cause i actually picked you"
so while being reunited with my best friend, Chris, (niggas dont have to be gay because they're best friends lmao) and i was updating him on my current girl situation and how this summer is about to be pretty lonely and he said all i needed to do was lower my standards. that got me very, VERY, pissed...because my standards are pretty basic...
nahhhh, i'm [that dude] cause i actually picked you"
so while being reunited with my best friend, Chris, (niggas dont have to be gay because they're best friends lmao) and i was updating him on my current girl situation and how this summer is about to be pretty lonely and he said all i needed to do was lower my standards. that got me very, VERY, pissed...because my standards are pretty basic...
you must either love Kid Cudi, or let me rock with him.
you must understand that i'm a dad before i'm a boyfriend, that goes without saying.
you must be down to chill with the boys from time to time, after all, they were there before you and chances are, they'll last longer than you.
you must have SOME kind of purpose in life. idc if you wanna be a nail artist person or whatever, as long as you have GOALS and driveeee.
you musttt get along with every single one of my 6 sisters, they must approve. even the 9 year old.
you must understand that there are going to be days where i had a rough day at practice, rough day at work, rough day in class and i just DON'T WANNA TALK..don't push me
you must understand, that i battle vertigo and SSD, and multiple injuries every day of the year and that i can't always go out when you want to..
you must be confident. don't expect me to shower you with compliments, and don't go fishing for 'em either. i'll give em out where they're due lol
girl, you don't even have to COOK..i got thatttt
oh, and on that note
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIDNEY RAY BELIZAIRE!
everything i'm not, i will be when she teaches me
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
First Off: with the blogs that i come across (don't take offense if u happen to read this) i feel like most of them are like gossip blogs. like gossiping current events, who's dating who, etc in the celebrity world. either that or their about like the newest shoes beyonce wore and where to get em. MY blog is a tad bit more personal. mmm, it's HELLA personal. it's about my daily antics, my bullshit,daddy & daughter moments, my sexual encounters lol so to all my future followers, if any, or current followers who are "bored" .. just don't expect a post on Kanye and Amber Rose lol thats all imma say.
2nd:
i love Def Poetry Jam. always have, been bangin with it since '07. and these are the best in [my] opinion. TRUST ME, these are not like my potter puppet pals vid =/ lol
PROJECT ENLIGHTENMEMT . one by one
Friday, April 10, 2009
48hrs = Ginuwine's "Last Chance" on repeat.
i feel like i always put myself in the world's most awkwardddd positions and situations that are fun in the moment but which i knowwwwww will not turn out well in the long run aka someone checking into the heartbreak hotel...
most of my recent blogs have been about this one girl ER, she's such a nice girl, i almost feel BAD =/ i thought it was clear that i wasn't looking for a girl, after the way my last relationship of about a YEAR ended, na im STILL hurting from that one... and for a while it was, but ER is really starting to get close. like my mom always said if you go shopping with a girl it's evident it's official lmao truth be told we just came back from shopping and i had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. i hadda resist holding hands by pretending my phone was vibrating in my pocket smh.
and that's 60% because im a good guy and 40% because i wanna be single and mingle for ONCE in my entire life.
i never led the normal teenagers life (girls, parties, girls) because a. i was in hella trouble with the law my whole teenage life b.i had a daughter c. my sports came first
but now it's like, for the first time in my whole life, i just wanna PARTY and get lap dances and get my feels on (esp. if Sidney's with her mom omgggawww) and just accept calls from my Ex telling me to come through and here i go entangling myself with this girl...
It's a Catch 22, cause either way im fucked.
i feel like i always put myself in the world's most awkwardddd positions and situations that are fun in the moment but which i knowwwwww will not turn out well in the long run aka someone checking into the heartbreak hotel...
most of my recent blogs have been about this one girl ER, she's such a nice girl, i almost feel BAD =/ i thought it was clear that i wasn't looking for a girl, after the way my last relationship of about a YEAR ended, na im STILL hurting from that one... and for a while it was, but ER is really starting to get close. like my mom always said if you go shopping with a girl it's evident it's official lmao truth be told we just came back from shopping and i had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. i hadda resist holding hands by pretending my phone was vibrating in my pocket smh.
and that's 60% because im a good guy and 40% because i wanna be single and mingle for ONCE in my entire life.
i never led the normal teenagers life (girls, parties, girls) because a. i was in hella trouble with the law my whole teenage life b.i had a daughter c. my sports came first
but now it's like, for the first time in my whole life, i just wanna PARTY and get lap dances and get my feels on (esp. if Sidney's with her mom omgggawww) and just accept calls from my Ex telling me to come through and here i go entangling myself with this girl...
It's a Catch 22, cause either way im fucked.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
last night was the best night i can remember having for a WHILE.
i was bored. i'd dropped Sidney off at her other grandma's house in the AM
didn't have to work, didn't have any sports practices or meetings or NOTHING
all other members of STAT were on their campuses doing their shit
so being bored as i was, laying at my mom's on my Cali King going thru old texts
somehow, i ended up on the phone with ER, who really hated me from the last fuck up, the worst outta all 5,010,868,924 of 'em.
i told her i wanted to make her feel better, tried to go to cheescake factory, or friday's, chili's pizza hut SOMETHING.
i ain't expect her to still wanna rock with me, but i just wanted shit to at least be COOL between us, cordial since i have to see her every wednesday in philo and psych. and i just hate when people hate me...
she said NO. but insisted that i drop off some "UV BLUE" and then dip.
nobody drinks alone. why would i let her drink alone? my conscious murdered me on my way out, i went back. and i FOUGHT her for it. and she won. and i won because she had won...
now you're probably like WTF?
let's put it this way
in a sense, im glad she was semi-passed out laying on my chest.
because i NEVER knew my heart could actually skip a beat ....
i was bored. i'd dropped Sidney off at her other grandma's house in the AM
didn't have to work, didn't have any sports practices or meetings or NOTHING
all other members of STAT were on their campuses doing their shit
so being bored as i was, laying at my mom's on my Cali King going thru old texts
somehow, i ended up on the phone with ER, who really hated me from the last fuck up, the worst outta all 5,010,868,924 of 'em.
i told her i wanted to make her feel better, tried to go to cheescake factory, or friday's, chili's pizza hut SOMETHING.
i ain't expect her to still wanna rock with me, but i just wanted shit to at least be COOL between us, cordial since i have to see her every wednesday in philo and psych. and i just hate when people hate me...
she said NO. but insisted that i drop off some "UV BLUE" and then dip.
nobody drinks alone. why would i let her drink alone? my conscious murdered me on my way out, i went back. and i FOUGHT her for it. and she won. and i won because she had won...now you're probably like WTF?
let's put it this way
in a sense, im glad she was semi-passed out laying on my chest.
because i NEVER knew my heart could actually skip a beat ....
Friday, March 27, 2009
"when you open up your mind
girl i find that
your perception of the world
coincides with mine.."
girl i find that
your perception of the world
coincides with mine.."
i don't mind if a girl cries, because that's life. people are sensitive blablablah. but when i know that I, myself, TJ Miles, made a female cry that's where my guilty conscious kicks in and im just feeling horrible about myself at the moment.
WARNING: about to get real personal and detailed (STORY MODE)
tomorrow would've made me and my ex a year of togetherness. we only broke up about a month ago, it feels like it was this morning. but i hid it well with a new prospect, Erin. Erin is also a pre-med student at UPenn, so it's the fact that she's so close that makes it so easy..... Erin knew my situation with the wife and we then soon entered a strictly friends with benefits relationship. i'm not stupid. i know in these types of situations, SOMEBODY catches feelings and it ends in tears and me feeling like an ass. but between my hormones and stress and dickhead-ocity, i didn't care. note* at this time, i had NO contact with my ex whatsoever. so recently, because it was nearing the anniversary date, my ex has been hitting me up NON-STOP talking about she just wants to talk. do i wanna talk to her? fuck no. FUCKKKKK NO. but i do it anyway.
3 words. sex, sex and MORE sex. like never before.
all through which Erin called me 3x.
FUCK.
"this is bad real bad michael jackson.
now i'm mad real mad joe jackson"
now i'm mad real mad joe jackson"
and my guilty conscious was just BEATING THE SHIT OUTTA ME. like i dreamt about that shit, that's how heavy it was on my mind. "She's NOT my girlfriend" is how i kept sane ..
and when i told Erin...
she had already felt it. and she cried.
and when i told Erin...
"girl i feel that i'll be cheating you
if i continue to see you
cause you're ready to get serious
i'm not cause i'm still curious
i'd rather keep it real, and tell you how i feel..
cause i think you're beautiful
and i don't wanna hurt you, no"
if i continue to see you
cause you're ready to get serious
i'm not cause i'm still curious
i'd rather keep it real, and tell you how i feel..
cause i think you're beautiful
and i don't wanna hurt you, no"
she had already felt it. and she cried.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
i will not trust another female in my whole entire life.
see, NOW is when i understand how females get into that whole "i don't trust men" thing with men being a very general/vague category.
and that's because of traumatic experiences that have fucked up their whole views on life. making them unable to love, trust, put their 100 into anything.
i, my fellow bloggers, am one of those people.
i understand how "not all people are the same" but wen u THOUGHT u had someone
that you could honestly trust with all your heart, u take urself outta the game.
i sacrificed everything but my own seed for this girl, and she betrays me.
betrays me to the point where i can't have any communication with her OR dude
simply because you will hear my name on my 10 o'clock news nationwide.
(we'll leave that open for interpretation...)
heartbroken? VERY.
i'll admit, after i bought a new pair of black and white converse,
i felt slightlyyyyyy better.
see, NOW is when i understand how females get into that whole "i don't trust men" thing with men being a very general/vague category.
and that's because of traumatic experiences that have fucked up their whole views on life. making them unable to love, trust, put their 100 into anything.
i, my fellow bloggers, am one of those people.
i understand how "not all people are the same" but wen u THOUGHT u had someone
that you could honestly trust with all your heart, u take urself outta the game.
i sacrificed everything but my own seed for this girl, and she betrays me.
betrays me to the point where i can't have any communication with her OR dude
simply because you will hear my name on my 10 o'clock news nationwide.
(we'll leave that open for interpretation...)
heartbroken? VERY.
i'll admit, after i bought a new pair of black and white converse,
i felt slightlyyyyyy better.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
so techincally i'm on "vacation" in miami, with my brother from another Jayson. my LAX team is flying up to Cocoa Beach on tuesday for spring training camp, but i came up early to miami because i THOUGHT what i needed was a vacation... but where i went wrong was i didn't make shit at HOME right first. so i came out here with all the stress in the WORLD on my shoulders. and when you're just laying around on the beach that shit really gets to you...
to make things short and sweet, i have/had a girlfriend.
she did me wrong.
i did her wrong.
we both did each other wrong at the same time.
she did me the dirtiest you could to to a nigga, took a nigga's manhood
and i TH0UGHT that was the end of that
so i began to move on, not knowing she wanted to fix everything
and i did her even wrong-er.
now she's done
i [thought] i was done
but i'm not.
hence, the bobby v slow jam on the blog lol
honestly, if i told you i was over her, i'd be lying. if i told you i didn't love her more than i love myself, i'd be lying. if i told you i wouldn't give up my '09 N-gator to be perfect with her, i'd be lying. im a nigga with a tough shell. but i'm ADMITTING for the first time in my 19 almost 20 year life that i'm overwhelmed and i can't figure out how to cope.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I'm 19 with a baby girl going on 3, just four days before i turn 20.
is it wrong to think that i had part of my adolescence snatched away? no...yet i can't blame any one BUT myself, for my choices. idk what kind of trouble i'd be if that little girl wasn't born, BELEEEEH DATTTT. she forced me to become a man, a better person. it's like, speeding was MY speed limit before her, now i'm probably going below the speed limit because i know that not just my sorry ass life is in danger, but hers too. and it's like when i get all my paychecks, the first sum of money i take out is her $100 a week day care, $200 in the bank for her college/emergency fund, and then the rest i can buy like a shirt or something for myself lol it's like the only true love i have in my heart is for that girl. if she's crying, im somewhere holding back tears, u know when ur face starts hurting and your eyes burn lmao MOST OF ALL, she taught me respect for the whole female species! everytime i see a nigga do something stupid to a female, i ask them "how would you feel if someone treated your daughter, mother, sister, aunt,neice,cousin that way?" and that hits close to home cause i WISH a nigga would disrespect my daughter, ahhhh that'll be the day lmao physically, im getting older by the day, just like you. mentally, i'm 31 years old because of all the crazy and different things i've learned and experienced just in these past 3 years with Sid. give her her credit!
she made the man you see here today....
is it wrong to think that i had part of my adolescence snatched away? no...yet i can't blame any one BUT myself, for my choices. idk what kind of trouble i'd be if that little girl wasn't born, BELEEEEH DATTTT. she forced me to become a man, a better person. it's like, speeding was MY speed limit before her, now i'm probably going below the speed limit because i know that not just my sorry ass life is in danger, but hers too. and it's like when i get all my paychecks, the first sum of money i take out is her $100 a week day care, $200 in the bank for her college/emergency fund, and then the rest i can buy like a shirt or something for myself lol it's like the only true love i have in my heart is for that girl. if she's crying, im somewhere holding back tears, u know when ur face starts hurting and your eyes burn lmao MOST OF ALL, she taught me respect for the whole female species! everytime i see a nigga do something stupid to a female, i ask them "how would you feel if someone treated your daughter, mother, sister, aunt,neice,cousin that way?" and that hits close to home cause i WISH a nigga would disrespect my daughter, ahhhh that'll be the day lmao physically, im getting older by the day, just like you. mentally, i'm 31 years old because of all the crazy and different things i've learned and experienced just in these past 3 years with Sid. give her her credit!
she made the man you see here today....
Monday, February 16, 2009
THROW them shits back because without sugar and water, there is no lemonade.
yea, im in THAT kind of mood..
mainly cause im hungry, tryna peace out to KFC but my boys are drawlinnnnnn!
otherwise, school is kickin my ass!!!!!! i've met a lot of cool heads at UPENN, but professors never play. everrrr lol i have a paper due sometime this week, 21 pages about whatever it was that i chose. i think it was Adolescent Behavior or some shit for Psych class. have i gotten any sources or shit for it? hell no. Who said The Ivy League's was gonna be easy? im outta my M I N D with it.
yea, im in THAT kind of mood..
mainly cause im hungry, tryna peace out to KFC but my boys are drawlinnnnnn!
otherwise, school is kickin my ass!!!!!! i've met a lot of cool heads at UPENN, but professors never play. everrrr lol i have a paper due sometime this week, 21 pages about whatever it was that i chose. i think it was Adolescent Behavior or some shit for Psych class. have i gotten any sources or shit for it? hell no. Who said The Ivy League's was gonna be easy? im outta my M I N D with it.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas again!
my holidays this year was goodthere was no drama at the dinner table! :O
can't remember the last time that happened
last year, it was a fuckin screamfeast
what i dont understand is why all the dirty laundry
comes out at the christmas dinner table! or thanksgiving!
like you couldnt call her on the phone the day after? shit.
anyway, woke up at like 6am to open presents with these kids
babymama wanted to videotape Sidney opening her gifts
mom had a fuckin huge ass brunch with all her doctor friends
and made me sit there during conversationnnnnn
told them i wanted to be a Pediatric Emer. Rm Physician
and they wouldn't let me go!
i was already feelin sick, and one of them said it might be mono
which i don't believe...cause i had that shit like 4 months ago
so i spent the whole day moping around, my mom was on my ass
but idc..cause this concussion bullshit is making me dizzy whenever i stand
for more than 20 minutes, or move around a lot.
and im hella tired just going up the stairs
so i cant even work out and shit
plus all this pressure in my face is making me wanna lay in the middle of the roaddd
but imma put my bitching aside for one day
for my mom, cause she doesnt do these extravagant things often
so hey =/
Monday, December 15, 2008
from the Korean R&b/HipHop group the Big Bang
idk WHY, but i just fucks with this nigga entirelyyyyy
something about his swagg
or his moves
or his build
or his whole demeanor
just reminds me of myself.
plus i just finished off wit the mohawk!
(time for dreadsssss)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
today i took my little girl & her mom to go see Santa in the mall
and everybody's like "ohhhhh,awwwww,omgggggggggg"
and im just like staring at her..she realized it cause she starts
hitting me in the face lmao and she saw snow for the first time
in her lifeeeeeeeeee today, so i hadddd to take her outside in the jumper.
and the reason im writing about this..
is cause i dont understandddd, how a nigga can walk away from something
that he doesn't even know. i mean, i guess it's easy to walk away before they're born
cause u dont know the kid, and got no emotional attachment to em
but really, that's jus a bitch ass,weak ass,pussy ass move
if u couldn't provide, shoulda wrapped that shit up.
like looking at my daughter, i couldn't just walk out and never see her again
and everybody's like "ohhhhh,awwwww,omgggggggggg"
and im just like staring at her..she realized it cause she starts
hitting me in the face lmao and she saw snow for the first time
in her lifeeeeeeeeee today, so i hadddd to take her outside in the jumper.
and the reason im writing about this..
is cause i dont understandddd, how a nigga can walk away from something
that he doesn't even know. i mean, i guess it's easy to walk away before they're born
cause u dont know the kid, and got no emotional attachment to em
but really, that's jus a bitch ass,weak ass,pussy ass move
if u couldn't provide, shoulda wrapped that shit up.
like looking at my daughter, i couldn't just walk out and never see her again
Saturday, October 25, 2008
10.
everything about her is fake. eyes,breasts,lips
and she acts TOO wild, attention grabbin'..but she look good!
AUBREY O'DAY
AUBREY O'DAY
09.
forever my wifey,
VANESSA BRYANT
08.
Victoria's Secret Model, i was lucky enough to MEET her
ADRIANA LIMA
07.
EVA LONGORIA
06.
got damn those dimples...
LAUREN LONDON
05.
almost tripped wen i seen her running in central park
CASSIE
04.
them lips!
KD AUBERT
03.
CHRISTINA MILIAN
02.
acutally one of my estranged sister's best friends so its awkward
but idc, because i have a huge crush on her
ERICA MENA
01.
favoriteeeeeeeeeeeeee chick of 2008
plus, we got the same birthday =)
& she bisexual? lord have mercy
MEGAN FOXplus, we got the same birthday =)
& she bisexual? lord have mercy
MOST OVERRATEDDDDD!!!!!!!!
she doesnt attract me at all, her music sucks, her shoes be redic
RiHANNA
MOST UNDERRATEDDD!!!!!!!!!
she's fucking beautiful in any way possible
people dont talk about her enough, she's a sleeper!
plus she's the star of my favorite show. fuck you!
LAUREN CONRAD
Friday, October 17, 2008
haven't updated in days..
so over the last few days, i dislocated my shoulder
during a fuckin RECREATIONAL football game lol
got bronchitis, SUCKS
imagine not being able to breathe but u gotta walk around all campus
and den you're coughing up a storm in da middle of Socio class niggas think ur dyin
and on top of dat, i gotta go to Rutger's homecoming tmrw cause this girl asked me
and a couple high school girls asked me to theirs...fuck it, i never liked homecomin anyway
IN OTHER NEWS
yo,why is everyone on this Kanye West bandwagon? fuck is that "Love Lockdown" shit?
i can't lie, Kanye be havin some songs and shit but that song is dumb as hellllllllllllll
anything this dude Kanye does, people eat it up.
let's say a not so popular rapper, like remember Dolla? "who the fuckk is thattt?"(song was hot)
and he had the exact same voice,exact same song, nigga NOBODY would listen to it.
KANYE WEST IS ONE OF THE MOST OVERRATED ARTISTS OF OUR TIMEEEE
and rihanna too...she can't even sing that well
but really, listen to Kanye. what does he have that Lupe doesn't have
or Murs, or Papoose doesn't have? all of them are SLEPT ON HARDBODY
but Kanye...acts like he's the first artist to NOT to go college, spends time elaborating on that
im about tired of him yo...
weezy, if u dont get started on your next album ASAP,
imma have to blow up YOUR spot.
and take that fuckin lip ring off ya face
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