A Man's Thoughts

"If you saw what the river carried,

you would never drink the water"

ahhhhh. exactly 2 weeks short of my 20th birthday. and i'm not even evn the least bit hype. why should i be when i STILL can't buy my own Corona's? i have nothing planned, and i like it that way. but i figure that SOMEBODY, whether it be mom & dad, girlfriend #1, girlfriend #2, the homies, siblings, my little guys on the pop warner football team, my LAX team, my baseball team, my co-workers, the track team that i coach, SOMEBODY will try and throw me some surprise shit. i HATE SURPRISES! plus, that's a whole lot of drama to be asking for my ex, and latest to be anywhere near each other. so fuck it, this year i'm probably HOPEFULLY if these bobo's respect my wishes, just gunna kick it with my seed, cause her 3rd birthday's 2 days before mine. so i guess imma take her to the funplex or something lol i don't mean to sound like a depressed, ungrateful person, but right now, i'm stressing. i took my first L today in more than 5 months. to make things short and sweet, yo estoy palla...enguevar... my bag-o-wire ex gyal has me all twisted inside. cha. i love that girl so much. cyaan be sweatin the past because then i'll never see what's ahead . thats why all that friends with benefits is NOT helping the situation at all lol i can't help it, lampara doesn't even begin to describe her.. like i can deadass write a whole blog post on the types of things we do, the sex we have, the things we say while broken up by itself lmao my heart says one thing, my mind says the same .... yet i think there's a reason my legs won't act on it, and that's the reason that has me still holding on...