A Man's Thoughts

Stay?

2010-06-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

since i'm going into my last year of school, i have to start looking at grad schools. among my choices are UPenn (current), Temple, Drexel because those are in my area and i used to not wanna be away from my now ex-girlfriend and daughter. but i cannot STAND to be in this area anymore. so i've included 3 NY schools in that. yup, 2hrs away. i'll have to sign custody over to her mother, and i'll visit her as often as possible.

unless ..

DEUCES

2010-06-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

deuces!
we ain't got no future in tomorrow
i'm a "dick"
so it shouldn't be that hard to swallow

I'm Doing It...

2010-05-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

i'm growing a set and getting another tattoo
i HATE pain. and i'll admit, i have a low pain threshold
the first two tattoos were out of STRICTLY good causes
(the year 2006 on my tricep in roman numerals to recognize what a lifechanging year that was for me, and Sidney down my side)
this a "Black Light" tattoo and it's very rare that you'll find some place that does it. i found the only reputable place in philly that does and i'm doing it.
It's completely invisible in regular light, but glows in the dark under a black light. The ink is 100% safe, but it's guap-o as hell.

im thinking:
"love. a luxury i can't afford"
"the goal isn't to live forever; it's to create something that will"
"couldn't wait for success, so i went ahead without it"
"don't wish it were easier , wish you were better"
"minor setback for a major comeback"
"Let Go. Let God."

While I Was Gone....

2010-05-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

[in NO PARTICULAR ORDER]
-broke up with my girlfriend/baby mama
-my older sister got married
-my brother was sent back to Iraq, and has a baby girl due in june
-i got back with my girlfriend/baby mama
-i finished my junior year at University of Pennsylvania
-took my MCAT exam (medical school entry) and did pretty fucking well
-i cheated for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE
-i turned 21
-joined the DROID nation
-Sidney turned 4
-got promoted as a supervisor at victoria's secret
-Sidney had a hospitalization-required seizure
-i lost 6 family members to the earthquake in haiti

YOU COULD BE MY NEW GIRL

2009-10-31T17:22:00.001-07:00

out with the old, and in with the NEW girl ..

2009-10-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

"if the bitch doesn't do it to my liking
i make the bitch do it all over again"

pump your brakes...BITCH!? there is not a word in the english language i hate more than the word BITCH when used as an adjective. i'd rather have a white man call me a nigger, than hear a male call a female a BITCH. that's how much that word pisses me off.
but anyway, these kinds of maury episodes really get to me, because in MY situation, my girlfriend doubles as the mother of my child and i would never ever think about doing that to a female like i got a daughter and shit, that just makes me look at females in a whole different light. any nigga that makes his female cry, or doesn't wipe her tears when she does is no friend of mine. you're a coward if you take pleasure in someone else's pain and misery. growing up with so many sisters, aunts, neices like im SO tight that i just watched this and it could possibly be true.

Busy? UNDERSTATEMENT.

2009-09-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

hope everybody's back in school, getting educated.
i just started my junior year at UPenn and it's killing me already.
Calculus is a bitch. first day walking into that class and the teacher started off with a test
..talking about "didn't you guys take this in HS" yea nigga, but that's not the point.
i got a C on that test, calculus is WACK.
Sports Medicine is interesting.
anatomy is a battle to stay awake in.
Biochemistry is boring.
Media & Pop Culture Sociology has nothing to do with my major but it's way too easy to drop.
Graphic Design is the best elective ever.
why are this year's freshman females so BAD? like wtf ..

SidTheKid just started pre-school.
you know how some kids cry on their first day?
nah, she kinda forgot we were even there.

i coped with my brother's suicide well this year.
i never used to call it wat is was, just a death.
but i mean suicide...it is what it is...therapy helps :)

Hot Topic : Chris Brown

2009-09-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

last time i will speak on this nigga because ... yea , im tired of hearing about him

so he went on larry king live, i myself did not get to watch it
i went to see G.i Joe with my nephew cause he's staying over for a bit.
but i'm listening to it right now.

i sit on BOTH sides of the fence
a) i think he needs to be in jail . idc. i went to jail for the aggrevated assault of a grown ass man who HIT ME FIRST. how come he gets to be free?five years probation? i got 2 andd community service. mike vick killed some dogs, CB almost killed a human....

b) mannnn only two ppl have been affected by this shit. that's CB and Rihanna. he doesn't owe anybody else any kind of apology, he has nothing to prove to you guys, he is not GOD so his actions don't affect you directly OR indirectly.

when it got down to the knitty gritty, CB backs out talking bout "i don't wanna talk about it" probably legally but still.

i'm done with it. sucks for both of them. god bless the USA

2009-09-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

ALL MY LIFE I'VE WAITED

FLOATING , DREAMING , WISHING

FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU WOULD COME MY WAY

I THOUGHT THAT I COULD TIE YOU DOWN

AND MAKE YOU LOVE JUST ONE

BUT HOW COULD I DO SOMETHING

NO ELSE HAD EVER DONE...

random .. i've been thinking about marriage alot lately y'all.

Teach Me How To Jerk!

2009-08-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

i would really like to learn.

btw

ACCEPTABLE

UNACCEPTABLE

2009-08-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

A - age : twenty.

B - bedsize : Queen..i will be upgrading by new year's lol

C - chore you hate : feeding the damn dogs. they ALWAYS make a mess

D - dog's name : Crayons, Wiley, Diego, Jersey.......Shockey ran away lol

E - essential start of your day item : coffee, and a text from my homie about how mad he is that last night his girl [insert offense here] . every single morning.

F - favorite color - brown

G - gold or silver - silver

H - height : five feet , ten and a half inches

I - instruments you play(ed) : piano, drums etc..

J - job title : victoria's secret sales associate and KEYHOLDER!

K - kids : lol one devil child. i want 2 more girls when im in med school and then i'm DONE

L - living arrangements : i pay my own $1850 a month rent.

M - moms name : Lauria

N - nicknames : TJ, Teej

O - overnight hospital stay besides birth : over 45 diff surgeries, and other bad things lol

P - pet peeve : people speaking when they're not being spoken to, holding hands, repeating myself

Q - quote from a movie : Coach Carter: I end up taking a road trip to the suburbs where I find my drunk ass point guard on top of Daddy's little princess.
Worm:Actually, I was on the bottom, coach, she was on the top.

R - real shit : when i die, bury me with a glock and a bucket of shells in case these bum ass niggas want drama in hell....JK, i'm going to heaven lol

S - siblings : okay, this might get confusing. my mom and biological father had five kids together. Cameron (r.i.p), Travis 24, Adriana 22, Terrence 22, and me, 20. my father passed, my mother got remarried to a guy who already had four daughters Giselle 23, Mercedes 16, Kiara 16, Meira 17 so that made 9. together, they have Arielle 9, Anthony 7. and they are expecting another girl in november so that makes 11 bros and sisters. i kid you not.

T - time you wake up : 4am , everyday.

U - underwear : boxer briefs

V - vegetables you dislike : peas.

W - ways you run late : i hate being late...

X - xrays youve had : every single part of my body. excluding my ass.

Y - yummy food you make - there's a secret to boxed mac & cheese....

Z - zoo favorites : i like snakes

Sorry For Your Loss...

2009-08-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

people always say it.
it's cliche.
it's the thing to say when you realize that someone is suffering a loss.
but honestly, there's nothing you need to be sorry for.
unless you killed the lost one,
in that case you need not be in my face .. EVER
and you'll never be sorry enough for certain losses.
certain losses aren't even LOSSES anymore, they're just like
"i'm sorry that you don't have a working kidney anymore"
being sorry isn't going to give me a functioning kidney...
...why even remind me my shit is jacked...
or "you're family is in my prayers" . bullshit . will you REALLY think about me
before bed that night? NO lol

a simple "feel better" will suffice.

yep folks, it's THAT TIME OF YEAR :D
august 28th , 2009 . the biggest sob story ever told.
RSVP today!

Male, Age 20, Goes to Therapy

2009-08-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

from the time i was 17, i went to therapy every week. i stopped when i was 19, but decided to go again in may of this year. everytime you tell someone you went to therapy, they assume you're all fucked up in the head, but you're really just all fucked up inside.

reasons why i went to therapy
A) i watched my oldest and favorite brother die
b) to deal with all those angry emotions that caused me
to get into a fight a week in High school
C) to "cure" my fear of clowns
okay, to clear that up. when i was 6 years old, my brothers tied me down and forced me to watch the whole movie "IT". i was traumatized, and until i was 16 lol. when i went to therapy, i kinda eased out of it. but i still hate clowns. they make me nervous.

i used to have a problem admitting that i go to therapy, but now it's whatever. we're all grown up in here. i'd rather be in a controlled environment than to be home, depressed and capable of doing shit you'd hear about on the 5 o'clock news.

the man thinks.

This is Why We Can't Get Married.

2009-08-09T19:25:00.000-07:00

i'm doing 8hr shifts at Victoria's Secret to make up for the fact that i'm taking the next week off so Sidney.. basically been under her mom's care (YIKES) and apparently, Sidney Ray had gotten some sort of "cut" on her thigh and her mom cleaned it and put a band-aid on it and thought it was okay. i asked Sid about it when i got home and she said she fell and something cut her .. okay, cool enough. so the next day i'm taking her a bath and i try to wash her thigh but she wouldn't let me touch it (the band-aid was still on it) she said it hurt when i touched it. suspicious but you know how kids are. she gets into bed and tells me she can't sleep on that side because it hurts so much, but then again she hadn't cried or even COMPLAINED unless something touched it.. the morning after, i'm doing laundry (Laundry is for REAL men btw) and she had some bloody pants therefore i ask to see the "cut". i see it's an open bloody hole and i feel around the cut and there's something HARD inside this girl's leg. let's PAUSE for a minute. this child's mother simply bandaged an open, bleeding like crazy hole and didn't tell me about it? nigga imma certified EMT-III!!! so yea, took her to the Emergency Room, the nurse felt around it and she said there's definitely something in there. no shit. the doctor comes in, feels around, she said there's definitely something in there. really?. she orders an X-Ray. the X-Ray is taken and it shows that there's DEFINITELY something in there. by this time, i was more frustrated than a constipated pregnant woman. so, Ms.Doctor gets some kind of doctoral instrument and she says to Sidney "tell me if it hurts" because it was too late since she got the cut for anesthetics.... Ms.Doctor then proceeds to slide this into her leg, and pull out a 5 inch shard of glass from her leg.
Sidney didn't even FLINCH.

Light Skin v. Dark Skin

2009-08-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

i've seen some bangin ass light skinned girls. i've also seen some halloween type light skinned girls. i've seen some bangin ass dark skinned girls. i've also seen some ugly dark skinned girls.
i've seen some bangin ass hispanic, asian, caucasian girls.
so on and so forth, you get the point.
at first, i think the whole Light skin dark skin thing came about over HAIR. most lighter skinned females tend to have longer hair because they tend to be mixed. most guys like long hair. i like long hair. (shoot me)
ME, personally, honestly, i've never dated an african american female.
my babymama is BrazilianSpanish. the one before her GreekDominican. the one before her GermanPanamanianBlack. before her Philipino. before her FrenchColombian
(yea, i have a thing for exotic females).

point is, neither of yall is better than either of yall.
and light skinned boys get it IN.

the man thinks.

Again

2009-08-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

changed the name of my blog to A Man's Thoughts.
cause i'm NOT a baby daddy. i'm the best dad in the world
and cause i'm Ginuwine's biggest straight male groupie
and that's the direction i wanna go in with my blog
all about analyzing the common female and a male's thoughts towards her.

Damn Drizzy

2009-08-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

fuck. i was supposed to be at this concert with my boys last night...
instead, i babysat. friday night. TRAGIC.

so Drizzy collapses at his concert in Camden because of a torn ACL

i fuckin FEEL you. worst injury i've ever gone through in my life.
deadass, when i tore mine nov. 07,
i heard it POP and then it hurt so bad, tried to stand up
collapsed. cried my ass off.
the ambulance had to come get me.

Mr.UPenn

2009-07-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

idea stolen from http://meldenisesays.blogspot.com

3rd year at UPenn , one of the ivy leagues. against all odds of course.

What made me choose University Of Pennsylvania?

it's close to home, i already had a job in Philly, it's an ivy league school...

Where else did I apply/accepted?

applied to NYU (was accepted, spent one year there)
applied to Drexel, University of Miami (FL), Florida A&M, Rutgers
accepted to all but, those were on sports scholarships

Did I receive a scholarship?

yea, i'm on a FULL RIDE there :) (outside scholarships)

What were my high school grades/test scores like?

i was one of those people, who took all the AP's possible...but cut class all the time while still keeping up with the work. i was out of school suspended for the second half of my junior year but i scored a 2290 out of 2400 on the SAT, didn't take the ACT

What do I like most about my school?

best professors ever. they actually try and make class interesting, even LECTURES.
it's not in the middle of nowhere either

What do I like the least?

not that i'm a racist, but it's only around 7% african american..so it was a complete culture shock being that not only am i black/hispanic but i have a pretty weird southern accent. i always feel like somebody's judging me or looking at me sideways. plus ppl here think they're on top of the WORLD, too good to talk to you and what not. it's every man for themselves

Do I get homesick?

no...my mom and stepdad are less than 30 minutes away lol i live on my own tho and it gets kinda lonely if Sid is somewhere else.

What extracurriculars am I involved in now?

not a DAMN thing. i have to work all the time to pay my bills..

Campus Life?
lot of frats and sororities like u see on tv. um, Akon was here this past spring...
so it can get crazy at times. there are plenty of bars and nightclubs around too

What is my next step after graduation?

i'm actually looking at med school brochures THIS year.. i'm only applying to three. the UPenn one, Columbia, Johns Hopkins. that determines whether i stay in Philly, move to NYC or Maryland.

General advice about college?

FIRST SEMESTER FRESHMAN YEAR IS NOTTTTTT ALL ABOUT PARTYING! biggest mistake ever. u get excited about being free and all, but just dont go overboard. study EVERYTHING, tests are never easy. try and develop a relationship with all ur professors, it could be the difference in a pass and fail. and most of all, balance your time wisely...

She Wants Me

2009-07-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

my ex-girlfriend keeps trying to reappear in my life lol
that may sound a little self-confident

a) she's showing up at my job
i work in philadelphia, she lives in New Jersey ..
less than 10 mins away from a Victoria's Secret ..
but all of a sudden, it's the one i work in lmao

b) everyone of my homie's bangers, she now attends.
i only have 5 homies. ONLY 5. my core.
and they alwys having ppl over.
and when we broke up, she ain't fuck with NONE of those guys
and now she's all showing up and shit
trying to act all friendly to them, ignoring them

c ) she puts herself as in a relationship on facebook,
but no link to the person's name.
lord KNOWS she isn't it no relationship

d) she texts me little smiley faces.
[ :X , :0, :p ]
when i receive em and text .. she doesn't text back ..

great timing too. Jina's in Brazil for more than a MONTH.
help me god

10 more

2009-07-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

1. because basketball was the ONLY sport i've ever been told i sucked at, i practiced so hard to spite that person, and was an all-league player the next season. i had an ego.

2. instead of porn, i own the world's biggest collection of barney, spongebob, dora and the backyardigans. oh, and the big comfy couch.

3. i drink ensure on a regular basis.

4. i'd actually watch the big comfy couch willingly. it's pretty amusing. especially when she reads the story at the end, those are always good.

5. i thought i wanted to have boys, but after Sidney. i want like 2 more girls and i'm DONE

6. i make my OWN jamaican beef patties

7. i'll never let a girl pay her share for dinner, movies, etc. being independent is cool, but let me feel useful

8. i always wonder what "menstrual cramps" feel like

9. i like the big comfy couch, yet im fuckin' TERRIFIED of clowns...how does that make sense?

10. i obnoxiously yell at the movie screen.

....

2009-07-05T23:41:00.001-07:00

Guess My First Name.

The Bad Side

2009-07-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

UHHHHH:
suitable for mature people and females who don't mind seeing breasts

jamaica isn't only clear water and beaches..when you get out to the slums and outer cities, shit gets wild, LIKE THIS. i've been to jamaica at least twice a year for 4 years because my real dad was 100% Jamaican so his mom,dad,sisters, brothers, all continue to live in jamaica. i love it there, it's my favorite country. it's just a different family vibe and connotation, good food and crazy clubs. and i've been to Kingston with the pretty palm trees and what not, and i've been to "Terry's Lawn" aka the place in this video, and i've PARTIED in both these situations..the girl in the white dress of this video look like she's being RAPED, but trust me, i've seen WORSE.... MY WHOLE THING IS... i'm kinda shamed that jamaicans are associated with this kind of nonsense and i hate to see females, and guys too, sell themselves for way less than they're really worth...

I THINK They Like Me..

2009-06-30T21:26:00.001-07:00

a couple posts ago, i got SOME type of recognition

"From the looks of it it seems as if you are a wonderful father.
Along with children comes sacrifice,and it is very apparent
that you make sure you go that extra mile for your daughter.
I have selected you as one the recipients for three blog awards:
Interesting Blog,One Lovely Blog,and I ♥ Your Blog."
-- http://poeticsatindoll.blogspot.com/

not that i give a shit what people think about me or my lifestyle
but it IS kinda nice for someone to recognize your hustle =)

free advertisement:
[http://blahloverrr.blogspot.com/
she badd, she reads my blog AND she fucks with Kid Cudi?]

Just Throw It In The Bag

2009-06-29T18:35:00.000-07:00

the only permanent thing in life is CHANGE

2009-06-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

that's a resort on the Jersey Shore.
$2k out of pocket. for what? a woman i don't love and her child. my child
BANGER! lol it's funny how shit pans out sometimes.
i thought dishing out $2,000 for a weekend's vacation
would make me love her, would somehow change my mind,
make me feel less guilty about the fact that my Ex has the upperhand
but it didn't. now im juss $2,000 poorer lol do i regret it? nawwwww
it made two of my favorite people in the world smile and laugh non-stop.
WHY T!? WHYYY? you're playing her! you wish you could take it back!
Amber is a complex characterrrrrr lol we dated for a year.
she's that whole "brass knucks/sweats" type of female
im in love. she "hates" me. she HATES Sid's mom
yet, i got an invite to her birthday gathering on tuesday..........
what am i supposed to do? what am i GOING to do?
damn Jina. you update my twitter,facebook,myspace
couldn't you just read my blog, so i wouldn't have to tell you myself? haha..
how do you tell your only daughter that her mom's going to keep crying
Sidney will give you what she has to make you feel better.
i remember one time i was laying on the couch with a headache,
she offered me her applesauce, in an attempt to make me feel better.

what the FUCK is she gonna give mommy for thisssssssssss one?

Last Train To Her House

2009-06-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

3 in the morning, Gibberish by Ryan Leslie up next.
it rained 13 out of 20 days in june he thought then wondered where he got that seemingly random number from.
hoodie up, feet on the dash, he flicked his cell phone around in his hand
he began to dial up her number,
the one he'd deleted from his phone months ago
but for no reason really, as nothing in this world would make him forget it.
at the last minute, he decided a text would be better

"Real Shit, Did you hook up with anyone in the Poconos?" a week's co-ed swim clinic in Pennsylvania and coincidentally the same exact place he'd began to like her just a year ago
but couldn't possibly attend this year.
"It doesn't matter. We lasted a year, it was fun but now i've BEEN done, daddy. When i wanted you, you didn't want me. When i admitted to making a mistake,
you still didn't want me, i've moved on. "
"you hooked up with someone?"
"umm, Don't you have a girlfriend? babymama or whatever lmaooo?"
"answer the question!"
"I don't have to answr ur questions anymore. and cause i actually hate you. like i really just HATE you lmao i feel sorry for you, and textn me is just bringing back the goosebumps that just remind me how much i hate you"
"that's funny.... because i love you"

no text back.
True story.

DEATH to father's day.

2009-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

this is really long, boring, somewhat personal..but i have nowhere else to write it lol

i hate father's day, always have, always will.
and im 100% sure it's because i never met my dad.
like the soap opera my life is, my dad died the day i was born - 5/16/89
and then my brother (father of two) passed on 8/26/2006
and HE never met HIS daughter because she hadn't been born yet either
so yea, i have some bad attitudes towards the holiday
but i've looked at the past 3 years of my life, and i've just been doing my job...
no need to celebrate lol i take my job pretty seriously
which is why "babydaddy" bothers me. it comes with a derogatory connotation.
it's just like half of every dollar i get is hers , cause that's MY daughter
she looks just like me =) and it's like hearing Barney songs
"just imagineeeeeeeee, just imagineeeeeeeeeee" (Youtube it lol)
and brushing our teeth, and guess who can comb some hair?
this nigga right here !!!!!!!!
stuff like that is a daily thing.
and i guess father's day is a day of "reflection" for what he's done
but i HOPE that she reflects (when she's older) everyday
and realizes that her daddy couldn't go party in the summer
cause he's working ALLLLL THE TIME lol
plus i don't really mind, i like feeling useful lol
and everybody's like "you work so hardd, what do you want for father's day"
and i'm just like......money.....so i can re-furnish Sidney's room....lol

i was out in Cali with my boy Chris for 2 weeks
it happened, couple weeks later i got the IM, not the call, the IM lol and i didn't really care, i had enough money to support said child (hm...) and we both thought it was a boy from what the doctor said. and i picked BRANDON. Brandon T. Miles, i was hype i was SO hype lol and then ... a girl. a GIRL? i was tight i was SOOOO tight lmao and i had to pull a name out my ass, and i picked Sidney. why? cause that day i'd watched that Disney movie Seventeen Again, idk somebody in that movie's name was Sidney and there you go! Sidney Ray Belizaire.

now, i can proudly say, that since Sidney's hair has grown 22x what you see in the picture on the right side, that i know how to condition and blow dry and tease her TANGLED ass brasilian,colombian,jamaican,portuguese hair and all that shit lmao i know how to take temperatures and fold laundry and i know how to fix those "i wanna sleep with you" moments, i know a lot of things.

Happy Father's Day, to my young fathers, young mothers who double as fathers
to my own stepfather
to my late father, my late brother and all my passed fathers

And When Shit Hits The Fan..

2009-06-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

tired of working 8 hr days
tired of spending the $$$ i make on EVERYONE ELSE but MYSELF
tired of not being able to chill with my 5 goons
tired of being sleep deprived
all i wanna do is go outside, have sex in my car with the rain pouring and the foggy windows and go to SLEEP
but then i think that if i hadn't put in OVERTIME my senior year in HS
i wouldn't be where i'm at today..

and when shit hits the fan,
i hit my photo shop (my OXYCONTIN pain killer)
www.giabananasxxx.blogspot.com < all me guhh, all me .
..it's been awhile lmao but im bout to get back on my graphic design shit
where i used to get paid like $400 just to make an event flyer
but mula is mula is MULAAAAA

Operation Apartment Update

2009-06-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

yea, sadly, things like refilling my snack stash (the one in my closet with the cheetos and endless amounts of gum and candy) have ceased.
im fucking picking up pennies off the ground (not literally of course) because im flat ass BROKE! lol
my rent is about to be $1600 a month. pause. let that marinate lmaoooo
wtFx up with the fact that down in my homestate of S.Carolina, i can find an apartment twice as big for about $620? .................. $%*(!^@*&%$#*(
my plan this summer is to make $25K (see post entitled DADDY PLAYS NO GAMES) so that'll hold me down for when i go back to school and can't work around the clock like i am now.
shit, every paycheck i get is like, 50% to the new apartment fund 50% to the med school fund aahhaaa

i can't do anything BUT laugh.

i fuckin HATE this bathroom. i think imma tear it apart and start all over
aka stand in shower, new sink, new toilet, new floor
with the exception of those two little mirror things, those are FRESH.

new fridge, new stove, new counters, new cabinets, new sink = necessary
oh wait, i might need appliances

Lauria (mommy) : what do you want for father's day?
TJ (son) : a 50K gift card to Loews

i wasn't even shitting her.

ohhh, wait. i forgot the most important part
my ex-girlfriend's dad is my remodeling contractor
no hard-feelings.
lmaoooooooo FMLLLLLL

Easy Like Pancake !

2009-06-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

shit .
my blog is straight LITERATURE.
you need no pictures , i wanna be followed for what im thinking.
wait no, i don't wanna be followed at all.

so that inner lip tattoo i got, you know, the one that conveniently says Amber,
when my girlfriend's name in Jina .
yea, i said it, GIRLfriend .. who just happens to double as my baby mama ! :O
i feel guilty bringing a lot of girls in and out of Sid's life so im glad im with her mom for now
anyways, back to that tattoo .. it's fading WAY too slowly
i heard eating salt and vinegar chips helps, so i bought me some salt and vinegar chips lol
"EASY LIKE PANCAKE" --Sidney Ray. damn, she's the bomb

Recovery..

2009-06-06T15:59:00.001-07:00

i've been home for the past 3 days recovering from my shoulder surgery.
it hurt/HURTS like a bitch. it's still imobile, meaning i can't work ; lift things ; or get dressed
appreciate your shoulders guys!

1. I've come to realize that my best talent...
i have plenty of talents...
it's a tie between the piano , and being a good sprinter

2. I've come to realize that my job...
JOBS..keep me sane
i love those kids, and i love my Vickie's peeps

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
i talk to myself often

4. I've come to realize that I need....
to speak to God more often

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
a father, a brother, a teacher, numerous pets
and the love of my life

6. I have come to realize that when I am drunk...
I tend to spill secrets

7. I have come to realize that my health...
has been ruined by all them sports.
now it's like a surgery a month

8. I've come to realize that money...
is my motivation

9. I've come to realize that certain people..
shouldn't be worth my time

10. I've come to realize that I'll always...
love! .. my daughter

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
are amazing people. all 10 of them (r.i.p Cam)

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
is my EVERYTHING! i love her

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
basically contains my LIFE in it lol

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
i was dizzy as hell.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep..
i thought about SidtheKid

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
how i can't wait to be able to work out again

17. I've come to realize that my dad..
hasn't been to any of my concerts, or games
will never see his grandsons & granddaughters
never saw me graduate elem, middle, high school
won't see me graduate college
won't ever see my siblings and i get married or anything..
--R.I.P Jermaine Radcliffe Miles // 5.16.1989

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
i ignore everybody's friend request until im bored,
and have time to snoop thru their profiles

19. I've come to realize that today...
was pretty lonely

20. I've come to realize that tonight....
the guys will be coming over, and getting into trouble

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
might not be coming..who knows!

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
become an Emergency Room Physician
i want it.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...
Gia .... bet $20 lol

24. I've come to realize that in life...
not EVERYONE is out to hinder your shine..

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
sucked.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
Ginuwine, throwbacks & newbies

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are more than friends, they're my bruhvaasssss

28. I've come to realize that this year..
has been EXTREMELY challenging socially and financially

29. I've come to realize that my ex...
is still in my head and heart- unfortunately
and is preventing me from moving on with the girl im feeling

30. I've come to realize maybe I should...
move to South Carolina in 2011

31. I've come to realize that I love...
all that i've accomplished

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
why God lets certain things happen

33. I've come to realize my past..
is no longer important

34. I've come to realize that parties...
are made up of liquor and ping pong tables now a days lmao

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
of not being successful

36. Well, I haven't come to realize this at all.... I have known for a LONG time...
im the one exception to the "all men are dogs" rule

36. I've come to realize that my life...
isn't as bad as i sometimes make it seem

This Just IN!

2009-06-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

i hateeee when a girl you're talking to's best friend starts getting in the mix. every girl i've ever dated has ALWAYS had an obnoxious sidekick of a best friend(yea Natalia, this is for YOU) who always tries and messes up the flow of things for two reasons (1) cause she's jealous (2) she's just THAT obnoxiously uncool. and those that don't like you (Natalia) are just out to COCKBLOCK 24/7.
anyways,
i decided that i really really really like this girl. we used to have a weird relationship where we just were two total strangers who shared something in common. it's just that that THING is a living human being named Sidney that's all lol we never really had anything to talk about BUT Sid, but over the past few months, i feel like there's no reason to be stuck on Amber, when i got somebody twice as insightful and only half as loud (no beeeef). she doesn't talk much but when she does, it's all you'll remember for days to come. she's all about her school work and most of all

"she broke the mold
when she cracked a smile..."

i ain't mean to get corny on my readers, but after Amber, i gave up on dating and was determined to be the world's biggest manwhore this summer but Jina B...she got it :)

p.s, Ginuwine's real name is ELGIN LUMPKIN! lmaooooooo that one got me
p.p.s, my mom finally found my lost snake. it was in the vacuum. im not even lying
p.p.p.s, i didn't know vacuum had two u's in it until the word correcter underlined it

100th Post

2009-05-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

i gained 7lbs in two weeks of vacationing.
from my samsung omnia--

it was all those sausages & fish & grits & pie in S.Carolina
& now all the curried, fried greasy jamaican food
must've smoked at least 4 blunts with my REAL bob marley rastafarian uncle ; got drunk every other night.
went to a crazy jerkfest [another this weekend]
I KILLED A GOAT when i wenr to the "boonies" to see my grandma
most bangingest vacation man.
back to life on 6/1

btw, i logged onto facebook only to find a relationship request. its now complicated with Jina. (Sid'd mom if u didnt know). im glad i didnt have to do it ;)

Daddy Plays NO Games..

2009-05-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

hmm, such a pretty little girl. omg, he's only 20? well how on earth is she provided for?
this is how this summer's looking like..everyday

WEEKDAYS
Football Camp 1: 7am-12pm -- $500 per week
Deaf Camp 2: 1-5pm -- $700 per week
Victoria Secrets: 6-11 -- $278.75 per week %*#@taxes*^!
EMT: 12am-6am -- FREE (internship, figures)
WEEKENDS
Victoria Secret's: 9am-4pm -- $150 per weekend %*#@taxes*^!
Physical Training: 7pm-11pm -- $200 per weekend

$1,828 per week x 13 weeks of summer = $$$ or, $23,773.75 (more or less)

baha, im not even JOKING. that's dedicationnnn

fucked out of my freedom
without a condom on.
no regrets kids,
no regrets

"YO..SHORTY IN THE RED!"

2009-05-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

"Girl do you mind
if i take this seat right here
cause you're sitting alone"

words of the great donell jones. damn that's a smooth nigga.

and it got me thinking on how guys now a days spit game to the ladies. so im back home in South Carolina and i linked up with my childhood best friend (sandbox days) Renee, and we're in the city of columbia. this guy from way deep keeps yelling "ayo, shorty in the red!" over and over again and i was just embarassed for dude lol now since 100% of my followers are females, how many of yall would actually turn around? and for those of you who would, you'd probably be annoyed at how lame that nigga's game is lol
you gotta be a lot more SLICK with it. i must admit, i don't make use of my time by trying to get girls. matter fact, i RARELY approach women. rarelyyy. but here's how iii would do it

1. eaves-drop, be nosy, be annoying.
2. don't drop lines, CONVERSE
3. be willing to laugh if she denies your advances. don't take yourself TOO seriously
4. be mysterious, keep her wondering. i don't reveal my name til the 3rd phone call.. lmao

FOR EXAMPLE : i was in the mall at the food court last year and i saw a girl with one of those Kobe Bryant graphic tees on (y'all know im the world's BIGGEST celtics fan lol) and i simply said to her "if the lakers win tonight's game, i'll call you. if the celtics win, you call me" and she just laughed. i gave her my number, she didn't give me hers. i didn't tell her my name or anything. well guess what, the lakers won that night and she still called me .

that'll be $45.

btw, Sid's birthday was good, mine was smooth. will be in jamaica starting sundayyy.

Imagine..

2009-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Me At The Top

2009-05-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

"you the shit cause i actually digg you
nahhhh, i'm [that dude] cause i actually picked you"

so while being reunited with my best friend, Chris, (niggas dont have to be gay because they're best friends lmao) and i was updating him on my current girl situation and how this summer is about to be pretty lonely and he said all i needed to do was lower my standards. that got me very, VERY, pissed...because my standards are pretty basic...

you must either love Kid Cudi, or let me rock with him.

you must understand that i'm a dad before i'm a boyfriend, that goes without saying.

you must be down to chill with the boys from time to time, after all, they were there before you and chances are, they'll last longer than you.

you must have SOME kind of purpose in life. idc if you wanna be a nail artist person or whatever, as long as you have GOALS and driveeee.

you musttt get along with every single one of my 6 sisters, they must approve. even the 9 year old.

you must understand that there are going to be days where i had a rough day at practice, rough day at work, rough day in class and i just DON'T WANNA TALK..don't push me

you must understand, that i battle vertigo and SSD, and multiple injuries every day of the year and that i can't always go out when you want to..

you must be confident. don't expect me to shower you with compliments, and don't go fishing for 'em either. i'll give em out where they're due lol

girl, you don't even have to COOK..i got thatttt

oh, and on that note

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIDNEY RAY BELIZAIRE!

everything i'm not, i will be when she teaches me

9 Questions

2009-05-08T15:04:00.000-07:00

1. Why do girls insist on saying they're "engaged,in a relationship married" to their best friend on facebook?..

2. How Is Hip Hop dead? matter fact, what IS hip hop?

"ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spankin
drive off in a def oj
everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn
say if your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend"

-Sugar Hill Gang

....so called "pioneers" of hip hop you dumbasses.

3. Why do people bitch about shit they don't like? if you don't like it, boycott it! damn!

4. Why are blueberries purple? (there are no naturally blue foods on this earth btw..)

5. Why can you get your bartending license, and bartend, at age 18 but can't drink until you're 21?..

6. The Big Bang Theory states that the universe expanded (exploded) from an extremely dense and hot state and continues to expand. nigga, where'd that "hot ball" come from?

7. How come deadbeat mothers don't pay child support?

8. Who said S-Curls are outdated?

9. Why are we such a narrow minded country? Why are Christian white supremacists telling same sex couples that they have no right to get married? Why isn't anything being done about the EXISTING Ku Klux Klan instead? instead we chose to go after "terrorists" in other parts of the world instead of cleaning our own backyard first..

Sometimes in May..

2009-05-08T14:32:00.001-07:00

8 days til my 20th birthday
6 days til Sidney's 3rd birthday

4 days til Sidney's mom's 20th birthday

2 days til Mother's day

0 more days til the end of sophmore year

20th birthday is in 8 days. you wanna know what imma do? spend time with my daughter, my sisters, Erin, and then go to the gentleman's club and get wasted. Sidney, me, and her mom are all having a joint party at my mom's house, and i was kicking and screaming throughout the whole idea but it's whatever. she'll be my baby mama forever, and ever, and ever til the end of time and sadly, i can't change that. Mother's day is gonna be the same as always except for the fact that NOW i gotta incorporate my baby mama in there somewhere, make her feel appreciated and shit. damn. im not one of those guys who just hates there child's mother for shits and giggles. after Sidney was born, we weren't really on speaking terms because she was living in LA at the time of..."conception"..and i was living in rhode island i believe. so when she decided to move out here this past summer, to the east coast, i was skeptical. and then her and i started spending more time together and BOOM, i was bangin her every night. but if you're a LOYAL blog follower, what's wrong with that story? yea, i had a girlfriend all last year :/ so shit got rough when she wanted to become wifey and now we barely ever talk unless it's about Sid. she lives 3 1/2 hours away during the school year, but now that shit's over, she's coming back to philly and yea, i'll be bangin her ERRRRR night.

What's A Man To Do?

2009-05-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i mix english with Colombian slang & Jamaican Patois, don't mind me.

"If you saw what the river carried,

you would never drink the water"

ahhhhh. exactly 2 weeks short of my 20th birthday. and i'm not even evn the least bit hype. why should i be when i STILL can't buy my own Corona's? i have nothing planned, and i like it that way. but i figure that SOMEBODY, whether it be mom & dad, girlfriend #1, girlfriend #2, the homies, siblings, my little guys on the pop warner football team, my LAX team, my baseball team, my co-workers, the track team that i coach, SOMEBODY will try and throw me some surprise shit. i HATE SURPRISES! plus, that's a whole lot of drama to be asking for my ex, and latest to be anywhere near each other. so fuck it, this year i'm probably HOPEFULLY if these bobo's respect my wishes, just gunna kick it with my seed, cause her 3rd birthday's 2 days before mine. so i guess imma take her to the funplex or something lol i don't mean to sound like a depressed, ungrateful person, but right now, i'm stressing. i took my first L today in more than 5 months. to make things short and sweet, yo estoy palla...enguevar... my bag-o-wire ex gyal has me all twisted inside. cha. i love that girl so much. cyaan be sweatin the past because then i'll never see what's ahead . thats why all that friends with benefits is NOT helping the situation at all lol i can't help it, lampara doesn't even begin to describe her.. like i can deadass write a whole blog post on the types of things we do, the sex we have, the things we say while broken up by itself lmao my heart says one thing, my mind says the same .... yet i think there's a reason my legs won't act on it, and that's the reason that has me still holding on...

Single In The Summertime

2009-04-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

i don't even remember what the word single MEANS, i've been cooped up with this one female for toooo long. i think i forgot how to be single..how to just smooth talk the ladies lol and now that it's the summertime, i'm going all out wreckless.
i hope SHE's come to terms with the fact that after a year, i realized that we can no longer be together. too much stress, too much disloyalty, too much drama and that i'm interested in other people. that doesn't mean that every once in a while, i won't take a few steps back and get with her because i'm in love with that girl no matter the season, i'm by NO means, over her or even close to being over her however, i was flying when i met her, and i'm soaring now that she's gone...

single in the summertime
what about those summer nights?..
damn.

THE BEST OF: Def Poetry Jam

2009-04-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

First Off: with the blogs that i come across (don't take offense if u happen to read this) i feel like most of them are like gossip blogs. like gossiping current events, who's dating who, etc in the celebrity world. either that or their about like the newest shoes beyonce wore and where to get em. MY blog is a tad bit more personal. mmm, it's HELLA personal. it's about my daily antics, my bullshit,daddy & daughter moments, my sexual encounters lol so to all my future followers, if any, or current followers who are "bored" .. just don't expect a post on Kanye and Amber Rose lol thats all imma say.

2nd:
i love Def Poetry Jam. always have, been bangin with it since '07. and these are the best in [my] opinion. TRUST ME, these are not like my potter puppet pals vid =/ lol

PROJECT ENLIGHTENMEMT . one by one

Easter Sunday

2009-04-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

well first off
HAPPY EASTER
(the ACTUAL holiday. not all that bunny & eggs shit)
the time in which jesus christ was resurrected after being killed on the cross

my mom is visiting relatives in colombia, so that means i don't have to attend BORING, SHITTY, CROWDED ass catholic mass right? WRONG.
somebody in that church will call her up first thing tuesday morning when she gets back, and say they didn't see me and wonder why. then moms will have a 1st degree fit. but i don't care right? i'm turning 20 next month. WRONG.
no matter what, i love my moms and little shit like this means a lot to her sooooooo, im taking the L and going to catholic mass this morning. =(

Catch 22 .. Either Way I Lose

2009-04-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

48hrs = Ginuwine's "Last Chance" on repeat.

i feel like i always put myself in the world's most awkwardddd positions and situations that are fun in the moment but which i knowwwwww will not turn out well in the long run aka someone checking into the heartbreak hotel...

most of my recent blogs have been about this one girl ER, she's such a nice girl, i almost feel BAD =/ i thought it was clear that i wasn't looking for a girl, after the way my last relationship of about a YEAR ended, na im STILL hurting from that one... and for a while it was, but ER is really starting to get close. like my mom always said if you go shopping with a girl it's evident it's official lmao truth be told we just came back from shopping and i had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. i hadda resist holding hands by pretending my phone was vibrating in my pocket smh.

and that's 60% because im a good guy and 40% because i wanna be single and mingle for ONCE in my entire life.

i never led the normal teenagers life (girls, parties, girls) because a. i was in hella trouble with the law my whole teenage life b.i had a daughter c. my sports came first

but now it's like, for the first time in my whole life, i just wanna PARTY and get lap dances and get my feels on (esp. if Sidney's with her mom omgggawww) and just accept calls from my Ex telling me to come through and here i go entangling myself with this girl...

It's a Catch 22, cause either way im fucked.

ME,Y0U & THAT UV BLUE....(Chapter 2)

2009-04-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

last night was the best night i can remember having for a WHILE.

i was bored. i'd dropped Sidney off at her other grandma's house in the AM
didn't have to work, didn't have any sports practices or meetings or NOTHING
all other members of STAT were on their campuses doing their shit
so being bored as i was, laying at my mom's on my Cali King going thru old texts

somehow, i ended up on the phone with ER, who really hated me from the last fuck up, the worst outta all 5,010,868,924 of 'em.

i told her i wanted to make her feel better, tried to go to cheescake factory, or friday's, chili's pizza hut SOMETHING.

i ain't expect her to still wanna rock with me, but i just wanted shit to at least be COOL between us, cordial since i have to see her every wednesday in philo and psych. and i just hate when people hate me...

she said NO. but insisted that i drop off some "UV BLUE" and then dip.

nobody drinks alone. why would i let her drink alone? my conscious murdered me on my way out, i went back. and i FOUGHT her for it. and she won. and i won because she had won...

now you're probably like WTF?
let's put it this way
in a sense, im glad she was semi-passed out laying on my chest.

because i NEVER knew my heart could actually skip a beat ....

GYT

2009-04-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

im really feeling mtv's new GYT (get yourself tested) ads.

foreplay
GYT
BEforeplay

ingenius. im a fool for clever word play.

but ignorance isnt alwaysssss bliss. i'd much rather know that i had HIV and live that way then never knowing & possibly ruining my life. sides, after the procreation of little miss Sidney Ray (turning 3 nxt month) i've made sure that i stay supplied. but on some other shit,life is so much less stressful wen u know HIV is treatable so that should make u wanna be real w.yourself & your significant other. i make it a mission to get tested w.each & every girlfriend (i don't do one nighters) not only cuz i wanna protect myself but cuz i have to set an example for my teenage sisters and their boyfriends.

excuse me while i try to save the world.

Guilty Consciouses That DON'T Subside.. (Chapter 1)

2009-03-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

"when you open up your mind
girl i find that
your perception of the world
coincides with mine.."

i don't mind if a girl cries, because that's life. people are sensitive blablablah. but when i know that I, myself, TJ Miles, made a female cry that's where my guilty conscious kicks in and im just feeling horrible about myself at the moment.

WARNING: about to get real personal and detailed (STORY MODE)

tomorrow would've made me and my ex a year of togetherness. we only broke up about a month ago, it feels like it was this morning. but i hid it well with a new prospect, Erin. Erin is also a pre-med student at UPenn, so it's the fact that she's so close that makes it so easy..... Erin knew my situation with the wife and we then soon entered a strictly friends with benefits relationship. i'm not stupid. i know in these types of situations, SOMEBODY catches feelings and it ends in tears and me feeling like an ass. but between my hormones and stress and dickhead-ocity, i didn't care. note* at this time, i had NO contact with my ex whatsoever. so recently, because it was nearing the anniversary date, my ex has been hitting me up NON-STOP talking about she just wants to talk. do i wanna talk to her? fuck no. FUCKKKKK NO. but i do it anyway.

3 words. sex, sex and MORE sex. like never before.
all through which Erin called me 3x.

FUCK.

"this is bad real bad michael jackson.
now i'm mad real mad joe jackson"

and my guilty conscious was just BEATING THE SHIT OUTTA ME. like i dreamt about that shit, that's how heavy it was on my mind. "She's NOT my girlfriend" is how i kept sane ..

and when i told Erin...

"girl i feel that i'll be cheating you
if i continue to see you
cause you're ready to get serious
i'm not cause i'm still curious
i'd rather keep it real, and tell you how i feel..
cause i think you're beautiful
and i don't wanna hurt you, no"

she had already felt it. and she cried.

Converse Mends Hearts

2009-03-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

i will not trust another female in my whole entire life.
see, NOW is when i understand how females get into that whole "i don't trust men" thing with men being a very general/vague category.
and that's because of traumatic experiences that have fucked up their whole views on life. making them unable to love, trust, put their 100 into anything.
i, my fellow bloggers, am one of those people.
i understand how "not all people are the same" but wen u THOUGHT u had someone
that you could honestly trust with all your heart, u take urself outta the game.
i sacrificed everything but my own seed for this girl, and she betrays me.
betrays me to the point where i can't have any communication with her OR dude
simply because you will hear my name on my 10 o'clock news nationwide.
(we'll leave that open for interpretation...)

heartbroken? VERY.

i'll admit, after i bought a new pair of black and white converse,
i felt slightlyyyyyy better.

This Week In A Nutshell

2009-03-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

"At the age of 21 they said I'd be non-existent,
It's that, or pleading the trial or being convicted.
I guess since I'm alive then I beat the statistics
Y'all can all kiss my ass when I am rich,bitch."

lol that quote is my LIFE. i love being a walking contradiction....

Operation apartment search is underway. this is in Vorhees (South) New Jersey and i pretty much have it on LOCK :D 2 bedrooms, 2 full baths, balcony. I DIG! for Sid and myself. my mom is really sick that i wanna leave her, but nobody's tryna live with their mom's on the weekends forever over hereeee lol but see imma cat that loves his mom so much that even when i did have my own apartment in north philly, i was at her crib every other day =/ for no apparent reason
this bad boy comes with a full gym, sauna (whatever THAT's for) and some other nice things all for the nice compact price of oh... just a little $1500 per month... :O

The Back

Sid's Room

My Room

Living Room

Kitchen

fuck 08, niggas thinkin 09.

ARIST SPOTLIGHT//BRUTHA

2009-03-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

best thing out since....idk when
alright their dance moves are corny
and they're not on the Day26 swagg,
but i promise you, if you heard just their audio, and then
Day26's audio, they would win in a landslide.
i know almost all the songs they ever created,
cause back when i was hospitalized for my concussion,
the girl i shared my room with loved them, so that's all i heard for 2 days
the rest is history.

3rd worldstar video in a row.
worldstar i like.

SuperBoo

2009-03-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

the anthem.
single, just found me a new "SuperBoo"
Owwwwwww

SMHHHHHH

2009-03-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

long story short, lesbians in south africa are purposely being raped by men to "cure" them of being lesbians. i'd say this hits pretty close to him because my mother HAS to treat all women, regardless of whether their bisexual, straight, homosexual or even transgender! my older sister is openly bisexual, etc.. and this shit just reminds me that the world isn't getting any better, that's it's the apocalypse because alot of prophecies are being fulfilled... now on the other hand, im not one of those people who believe that people are born gay, i just don't. however i could give a fuck if the next person is gay, i'm me, i'm straight, we can do whatever without me feeling awkward. i can't even attribute that to my upbringing because i was raised deep down south, and there wasn't any of that there. i accumlated that through coming up north, where you can walk down the street in NYC and see two men holding hands. idk, this whole shit just confuses me. it's like trying to teach me not to be a man, by cutting off my balls. that's how i see it

RECAP / UNWAVY SHIT PT.2

2009-03-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

lemme start with my unwavy fact.
GIRLS WHO WEAR PJ'S OUT THE HOUSE! na , guys too i can't evn lie.
that's not cooooooooooool! lmao shit makes me laugh. like some shit is for HOME and some shit is for going out in public feel me? im not saying niggas hopped outta bed and left the house and shit, most of them shower and put on a clean pair of pj's like wtf? UGGS with that lol my mother (Lauria the GREAT) says it makes u look sloppy, [that goes with a BIG fuck you if you ain't feelin it] and i agree. funny thing is, my girl wears pajamas out the house on a regular basis lol don't worry, i be gettin on her about it too. but c'mon bloggers and bloggettes! look somewhat presentable when you leave the crib.

in other news
my day sucked like a fuckin hoe. fuckin woke up at 4am to go meet the team in Cocoa Beach, went on a 4k run at 10 in the AM, like coach ain't even let us unpack lol went to brunch, checked out the girls lacrosse and softball players, went on ANOTHER run, had practice came back and showered. now i'm on the phone with the love of my life. Yea, my daughter =D bout to head to dinner and more practice since our first scrimmage is tomorrow. and then to DISNEYWORLDDDDDD tomorrow afternoon. of all the countries/continents i've been to, never been to disney world so im more hype than anyone in this world right now lmao

Miami + Me

2009-03-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

so techincally i'm on "vacation" in miami, with my brother from another Jayson. my LAX team is flying up to Cocoa Beach on tuesday for spring training camp, but i came up early to miami because i THOUGHT what i needed was a vacation... but where i went wrong was i didn't make shit at HOME right first. so i came out here with all the stress in the WORLD on my shoulders. and when you're just laying around on the beach that shit really gets to you...

to make things short and sweet, i have/had a girlfriend.
she did me wrong.
i did her wrong.
we both did each other wrong at the same time.
she did me the dirtiest you could to to a nigga, took a nigga's manhood
and i TH0UGHT that was the end of that
so i began to move on, not knowing she wanted to fix everything
and i did her even wrong-er.
now she's done
i [thought] i was done
but i'm not.

hence, the bobby v slow jam on the blog lol

honestly, if i told you i was over her, i'd be lying. if i told you i didn't love her more than i love myself, i'd be lying. if i told you i wouldn't give up my '09 N-gator to be perfect with her, i'd be lying. im a nigga with a tough shell. but i'm ADMITTING for the first time in my 19 almost 20 year life that i'm overwhelmed and i can't figure out how to cope.

UN-WAVY SHIT [PT.1]

2009-03-05T16:05:00.001-08:00

so i'm going back into UPENN right, and about 18 feet behind me, there's this girl. she has these huge boxes in her hands so i open the door and WAIT for her slow ass to get there, and get this, i HOLD the door. (i only say that because people should know by know that i'm from South Carolina and i detest anything cold) So i stopped, took a good minute out my day to wait for her and hold the door. she passes by with NO WORDS. how rude is that shit? like i coulda let the door go and face fucked you and you woulda been mad. then i woulda been wrong. so say thank you.

in other news

she got it.
Ashlie from BET'S latest reality show "Harlem Heights" which just premiered last week i think. last week's episode pissed me off tho because i think it's really FAKE and BANDWAG0N- ESQUE for these young ass people (ages 20-29 i think) were sitting there bawling on election night. none of them lived during slavery, segregation, integration, or even the MLK days and yet they were busting out nearly FAINTING at the fact that a black man could be president. that's something for your grandma, thugg... yea, i know it's a big deal...but i never did like over the top people ...

Cyanide & Happiness

2009-03-05T15:05:00.000-08:00

1. people that wear pajamas out the house make me SICK.

2. it makes me wanna cut my right nut off when people call my house and say "WHERE YOU AT!?" obviously im home mutherFUCKER, shit!

3. i hate the noise of sidekicks being flipped in and out.

4. i hate when i tell people that i'm single sided deaf and they start screaming all of a sudden as if we hadn't been carrying on a normal conversation before the fact...

5. i think the phrase "baby daddy" is derogatory. i prefer "single father of one"

6. i think it's funny that when i tell people that i flipped a coin to vote for our 44th president , (because they're both equally trash candidates) their mouthes dropped as if it was a SIN that i didn't voluntarily vote for the black guy. ( i did tho, he won the toss)

7. ignorant : lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact
thus, "that nigga was acting maddddd ignorant" does NOT make sense.

8. If you're a college student, and you see under course requirements the words "Organic Chemistry" switch your major as soon as possible.

9. i enjoy the company of those who are asinine.

10. "i knowww. you never hit me up anymore" .. uh, the Phone, Text message, IM, Email, Facebook/Myspace comment, video chat ALL work both ways cunt.

This Week In A Nutshell

2009-02-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

The Game might get canceled? THE HELL IT WILL! this is my shittt!

this picture is already hanging in my living room compliments of mom. 'nuff said. this is the epitome of a beautiful african american female. Owwwwww

so i hear these two bobo's (jamaican word for FOOL!) are back together. i only call them fools because i disliked the both of 'em BEFOREEEE that whole number he did on her. if a nigga beats you til your lip busts, and then RUNS AWAY, literally 3 weeks later (no way he squeezed enough counseling in that much time) comes back, and u TAKE HIM.. that's a weak ass female in my eyes. the end

W T FFFFFFFFFF ? ohhh, i wish that was my sister or cousin or something. i wouldn't have a problem doing time for assaulting those officers. (note: tripping somebody would probably get me jail time my PO is so fed up with me lmaooo) that's not even funny man.

WARNING: Men, do not watch if you're not entirely sure of your sexuality

SSSSSSSSSsssssshhhh! let him rock.

2012

2009-02-25T20:27:00.000-08:00

next person i hear say that they heard the world is going to end in 2012 is getting shunned.

A-that shit is "predicted" on the mayan calander right, but 2012 is the end of the mayan calendar, THUS they predicted the world would end in 2012.
B-Lauria (my mother) said that people said the world was gunna end in 2000 with all that Y2K, all the computers in the world will crash bullshitttt..
i'm still here...................................
C-weren't we all supposed to perish on 666?
E-i believe only GOD knows when the world will end and when he wants to descend from his holy throne. i don't think he's very happy with the fact that people are tryna act like they know him and set dates and shit. im jus sayin.....

this shit's not evn a THEORY because it's based on nothingggg scientific.

but, if you entirely truely with all your soul and being believe that the world is ending in 2012... If the WORLD is coming to an end, there is no point running around screaming. Regardless of how the World meets it's end, there is nothing you can do to prepare..nothing you can do to prevent..and your life will be MISERABLE because apparently you're
going to die.

btw; my name is Terray, you may call me TJ. i go to UPenn, yes an Ivy League school and i do NOT know what a leap year is.

Raising My Love Flag

2009-02-21T09:14:00.000-08:00

First time we ever got a chance to be alone

we knew it was wrong to do,

I guess that's why I was drawn to you...

damn i love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,

We break up so fast and we...
we make up so passionately.

You can't hate and be my lover

Hot Shit, Hot Shit

2009-02-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

banger! 'nuff said. [shrugs]

Baby I'm All Grown Up...

2009-02-18T12:57:00.000-08:00

I'm 19 with a baby girl going on 3, just four days before i turn 20.
is it wrong to think that i had part of my adolescence snatched away? no...yet i can't blame any one BUT myself, for my choices. idk what kind of trouble i'd be if that little girl wasn't born, BELEEEEH DATTTT. she forced me to become a man, a better person. it's like, speeding was MY speed limit before her, now i'm probably going below the speed limit because i know that not just my sorry ass life is in danger, but hers too. and it's like when i get all my paychecks, the first sum of money i take out is her $100 a week day care, $200 in the bank for her college/emergency fund, and then the rest i can buy like a shirt or something for myself lol it's like the only true love i have in my heart is for that girl. if she's crying, im somewhere holding back tears, u know when ur face starts hurting and your eyes burn lmao MOST OF ALL, she taught me respect for the whole female species! everytime i see a nigga do something stupid to a female, i ask them "how would you feel if someone treated your daughter, mother, sister, aunt,neice,cousin that way?" and that hits close to home cause i WISH a nigga would disrespect my daughter, ahhhh that'll be the day lmao physically, im getting older by the day, just like you. mentally, i'm 31 years old because of all the crazy and different things i've learned and experienced just in these past 3 years with Sid. give her her credit!
she made the man you see here today....

When Life Hands You Lemons...

2009-02-16T16:31:00.000-08:00

THROW them shits back because without sugar and water, there is no lemonade.
yea, im in THAT kind of mood..
mainly cause im hungry, tryna peace out to KFC but my boys are drawlinnnnnn!
otherwise, school is kickin my ass!!!!!! i've met a lot of cool heads at UPENN, but professors never play. everrrr lol i have a paper due sometime this week, 21 pages about whatever it was that i chose. i think it was Adolescent Behavior or some shit for Psych class. have i gotten any sources or shit for it? hell no. Who said The Ivy League's was gonna be easy? im outta my M I N D with it.

VINGHT-CINQ CHOSES.

2009-02-06T18:25:00.000-08:00

25 things. (the title is in french for those who were wondering)
has been fucking sweeping the galaxy that we call Facebook.
i got tagged in 21 of these things (muy populario),
so i finallllyyyyyyyyy did one. and here it is on my blog =]
FB search - Tj Miles

25 things bout me
1. i love being a dad =]

2. i have 4 dogs (at my mom's for now)
Rottweiler named Wiley
Pitbull named Shockey
German Shepard named Jersey
Doberman named Diego

3. i have a straight, musically inclined infatuation with Ginuwine, Brutha & Day26

4. i was born in South Carolina, lived there for 12 years, i still haven't lost the accent!

5. i love my southern accent. in fact, that's how i get most of the girlies!

6. i love my girlfriend of almost a year

7. i don't have a lot of sex anymore because i fear procreation.

8. i think i'm the shit because i go to an Ivy League school. OWWWWWW

9. my eyes are green in the summer, brown in the fall, gray in the winter...naturally!

10. i'm allergic to shrimp.

11. i make around $36,000 a year. LEGALLY, at the age of 19 =]
that's more than some people's mothers make, i kid you NOT.

12. i love working at Victoria's Secret.

13. i'm coulrophobic (fear of clowns) mmmmiiight SHUT THE FUCK UP

14. i eat healthy during the day, and pig out during the night. idk why

15. I HAVE A PERSONAL PROBLEM WITH SIDEKICKS! if you have a sidekick, i won't talk to you. i'm sorry. i have my reasons.
(that's a great blog topic!)

16. i chew gum every single day of the year. (including the days i wasn't supposed to be because i broke my jaw)

17. if i don't wear cologne, i feel dirty.

18. i don't associate with males who wear skin tight jeans, or skinny jeans. i also don't associate with males who wear pants that can fit multiple people in the pair and large t-shirts. find a balance!

19. i enjoy napping.

20. A|X and Brooks Bros. are the only two stores i can't walk past without going in.

21. 98% of my t-shirts are from AE Outfitters

22. i hate messes. im a fucking neatfreak, get with it

23. i can cook...real food!

24. i grew up VERY anti-social, now im a little TOO social naaaa mean? OWWWWW

25. i don't believe in religion, i believe in GOD.

ROOT CANALS

2009-01-31T21:32:00.000-08:00

i DEFINITELYYYYYYYYYYY took the L with the root canal today. so i get there, and i'm calm and collected because i've had surgeries done in a lot of places, i've had a jaw surgery before and everything so i go in thinking imma be fine cause i read reviews on the internet last night. most ppl said it was painless cause technology has advanced since the times of those urban myths. well those mutherfuckers are LYING ASS CUNTS! Endontist gave me a shot of novacaine, i was fine for like 20 minutes, and outta nowhere i started feeling shit, and i actually started throwing a fit. so the dentist gives me like 2 more shots of novacaine, and it was better, but i could still feel the pressure of the drill in my tooth. it was by far, THE worst experience of my life. take it from a guy who's broken 14 different things, fractured 5 and infinite sprains and muscle spasms. so after that, they had me in recovery and i went home..2 hours later, i was sober again and on percocet (making me dizzy) and i was just hungover if you wanna call it that. so i go to lay down at around 5pm. i woke up around 11pm sweating, in PAIN, feeling like i was about to faint. the whole right side of my face is swollen, i can't even open my mouth. i can't sleep, i can't eat, even turning my head hurts like hell! i look like kanye west. i surrender.

Tough Week...

2009-01-30T20:47:00.001-08:00

this week was fucking CRAZY!! i barely had time to use the throne, cause i was all over the place, doing 50,000,000 different things. too much to recap, so i'll do the highlights, lowlights & only the interesting shit.
Fact - had an MRI on monday,for my knee (torn meniscus and ACL), and i'm going to need another surgery in june to fully cure me of my buckling knees.
Highlight - im now a certified EMT :) basically because im sure that i want to work in the emergency room in college. so yea, imma start my volunteer EMT/EMS work in the summertime and i'll get to even DRIVE the ambulance =]]]]] we all know how i like to drive fassssssssst
Highlight - my sister-in-law (Raydell's wife) is pregnant with not one, but TWO babies due in april. who gets to name em? I DO, cause i got to name all of my neices and nephews (Cassidy,Cameron Jr, Taylor) and for these two (boy and girl), i have no idea. becauseeeeee i still got like 3 months or so.
Lowlight - college is getting really hard...im used to fuckin whizzing by everything at bumass NYU, but professors at UPENN play NO types of games. i have about 5 chapters of my organic chemistry 21 chapter outline / analysis done.. and get this, it's due tuesday morningggggg! Organic chemistry is THE hardest class i've ever taken in my life, believeeeeeee thaaaattttt
Lowlight - SIDNEY SWALLOWED A QUARTER! 4 hrs in the emergency room, keeping those X-rays to embarrass her ass when she graduates HS.
Lowlight - forgot the 10 month-i-versary with the girlfriend. she gave me the cold shoulder and i didn't know why. remembered like an asshole the next day. why are dates so important to some females?
Fact - i'm having a root canal tomorrow =[

Random Eye Candy

2009-01-26T23:01:00.000-08:00

i used to have a crazy infatuation with asian woman.
i can't really say i still do, cause my current love interest is everything BUT asian lol but this random eye candy, she just re-ignited that infatuation...

Samsung Omnia i910

2009-01-24T19:06:00.001-08:00

i went into asshole mode and bought my 3rd phone in the last two months.
all of which were over $200...at this rate, i'll be in debt before i turn 30 :)
this is my newest one (mind you, i bought the Storm and i JUST got the HTC Touch Pro like...5 days ago lmao) im telling you, i bought it cause i felt like being a jackass. it ran me about $255 these ppl at verizon wireless see me too often...

this phone is pretty much POPPIN. it has a 5.0 MP camera (beastyy), touch screen, full keyboard, windows mobile, sick ass internet, actual mouse option, media player, widget options and the list goes on..

Newest Addition To The Family

2009-01-19T18:30:00.001-08:00

Converse Skateboarding Pack
i don't skateboard...but i liked the colors
and they were legit inexpensive
only $120......that's rediccccc
but i like em.
gotta get off dunks sometimes lol

Megan Fox

2009-01-18T21:49:00.000-08:00

wanna see more of her in 2009 ..

N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S , review.

2009-01-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

first off, i hate how everyone decided to bandwagon on this one. like all of a sudden, everyone was quoting biggie and shit, even when you had never listened to his music before in your LIFEEEE. and second of all, im not a biggie fan. never was, never will be. i roll with TUPAC. i went to see NOTORIOUS at 2am this morning because my nigga Chris copped us all tickets, and it's sold out for at least 2 weeks so i said w.ever, and we went. first of all, i've NEVERRR seen so many black people in one place in my LIFE. even living in South Carolina. and where all black ppl are there is DRAMA. like some dude decided to wear a tupac shirt and a fight almost errupted lol the movie itself. the acting was great...Jamal what's his face reminded me of biggie so much, i actually thought it was biggie....but it was BORINGGGGGGGGGGGG! if 50 cent had been a better actor, get rich or die trying would've overtaken this movie. the soundtrack to this one was CRAZYYYYYYY though, i'll let that be known. i can't put specific parts that i liked and didn't like cause i hate spoilers and ppl who spoil even though we all know what happens at the end ??...LMAO im buggin but hey this movie was staler than a week old cheese doodle.

3 out of 5 stars

from me. i hope i don't get shot over this =|

Weezy Phenom

2009-01-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

maybe it's just me, but is Weezy dying down?
i personally don't listen to him as much anymore because...
a) i've found BETTER such as Lupe,Murs,Budden etc...
b) his whole swagg is fucked up. i have a personal problem
with skinny jeans & lip piercings (on men) and other shit he wears
c) i realized that for a minute, he was all HYPEEEE.
i mean now that i look back it's like, i actually listened to Mrs.Officer? chill outt, i know better than that
im not saying that he didn't have songs na mean?
"Brand New" sickkkk "Hawaii 5.0" insaneeee even back to "What I Call Her"
but now, he's all on the T-Pain voice and screeching over music, not rapping wth all those funny voices he be making
i feel like niggas dont even TRY anymore since they got "a milli"
d) i don't agree with his methods!!!! i watched an interview on MTV
this nigga was doing an interview, wit a BLUNT in his hand... calm down!!

is it just me?

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

i've been slacking on my blog posts...
but that's becauseee
i just upgraded my desktop to a HP touchsmart PC
and i procrastinated setting it up
my girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's brother
ended up doing it lmaooo that sounded rediculous, but true.

pretty much the best invention since the condom.
it's really easy to navigate, nice ass graphics, it's shiny (i like shiny things)
it's NOT that expensive for a desktop ($1400)
comes with Windows Vista a 22" wide screen display
so it's touch screen, but if you don't want it touch screen you can switch it off
perfect for people who use photoshop or other photo editing software
it has a wireless keyboard,mouse,antenna,EVERYTHING..

there's only ONE cable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
comes with a built in webcam, high qualityy
and i'm addicted to it.

2008-12-31T12:49:00.000-08:00

first time we ever got a chance to be alone

we knew,it was wrong to do,

I guess thats why I was drawn to you

damn i love you, but this is crzy, I have to fight you almost daily,

We break up so fast and we, we make up so passionately.

You can't hate and be my lover

Happy Holidays

2008-12-25T13:48:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas again!

my holidays this year was good
there was no drama at the dinner table! :O
can't remember the last time that happened
last year, it was a fuckin screamfeast

what i dont understand is why all the dirty laundry
comes out at the christmas dinner table! or thanksgiving!
like you couldnt call her on the phone the day after? shit.

anyway, woke up at like 6am to open presents with these kids
babymama wanted to videotape Sidney opening her gifts

mom had a fuckin huge ass brunch with all her doctor friends
and made me sit there during conversationnnnnn
told them i wanted to be a Pediatric Emer. Rm Physician
and they wouldn't let me go!
i was already feelin sick, and one of them said it might be mono
which i don't believe...cause i had that shit like 4 months ago

so i spent the whole day moping around, my mom was on my ass
but idc..cause this concussion bullshit is making me dizzy whenever i stand
for more than 20 minutes, or move around a lot.
and im hella tired just going up the stairs
so i cant even work out and shit
plus all this pressure in my face is making me wanna lay in the middle of the roaddd

but imma put my bitching aside for one day
for my mom, cause she doesnt do these extravagant things often
so hey =/

LMFLYAO!!!

2008-12-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

i thought this was some of the funniest shit in the worlddd

Boredom...

2008-12-20T09:32:00.000-08:00

don't get out of the hospital til tomorrow, monday at the latest
but i've basically regained mostly everything
except the immense and dramatic pressure in my face
and the fact that my nose is broken..

i don't really fucks with any movie beyonce's NAME has ever been in.
but might have to check this one out...

"I Wanna be Seducted..Seducted..SEDATED! I Wanna be SEDATED"

2008-12-19T12:15:00.000-08:00

So On Friday morning, after my Art History final (which i heard i aced)
i went to get my dreads...(no pics, i looked FUCKED UPPPPP)
and i did...and i was driving ( i initially thought i was walking, but the police say diff)
and it was a green light, but a car decided to cross on a red light
so i got hit, my car swerved and hit another on the passenger side and i was ejected
i flew about 25-30 ft so i heard
and fell flat on my FACE, but i only broke my nose, thank god.

so me thinking im superman, i try to get up
but the pressure and pain in my head forced me to faint and become unconcious

i wake up to find myself in the hospital, but i was in sooooo much pain
i couldn't move my mouth to talk..and then the nurse tells me what happened
and im just like..ahhh fuck...wait , wheres my blackberry ! true story
and the nurse is like "the impact of the car was so sudden and violent, that your brain actually shook within your skull.."
there you have it.. a grade 3 concussion, the most severe kind.

so she did some short term memory tests. like what day is it today
and i hear that i didn't know. and they showed me pictures of people and tried to tell me their names
but i couldn't remember (this is what my girlfriend is telling me)
and my vision is SOOOOO fucked up! like they made me take out my contacts and wont let me have glasses
and sometimes my eyes will like zoom in super fine on something, and i can see perfectly
and sometimes, i can't see ANYTHINGGGG
my speech is fuckin slurred as shit
can't walk, my equilibrium is totally off

last night,while i was asleep, i had all these different machines hooked up to my head
the nurse had to wake me up every HOUR, to make sure i COULD wake up
my head hurts sooooooooooo bad, i feel like i broke my skull!

so they transfer me to NY Presbetyrian Head & Trauma unit or somethingg neurology this morning
and it feels a tiny bit better. my vision is somewhat better, but looking at light hurts
but still can't walk, my nose is still broken, my head is throbbing, there's so much pressure in my face,
i feel like it might explode any second now.
plus all the scrapes and bruises..plus i reinjured the shoulder i was supposed to have surgery on the 19th
i can't remember what happened, someone always has to remind me
i get that tube feeding because i can't move my jaw it hurts so bad
i have about 40 cords hooked up to my body, i feel like an ALIEN

I HAVE NO PHONE! im stuck with a laptop!

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT//TAE YANG

2008-12-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

from the Korean R&b/HipHop group the Big Bang
idk WHY, but i just fucks with this nigga entirelyyyyy
something about his swagg
or his moves
or his build
or his whole demeanor
just reminds me of myself.

plus i just finished off wit the mohawk!
(time for dreadsssss)

Breasts and Vaginas + Orgasms w/Vibrators = only good sometimes

2008-12-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

so i get a email..AND a text..AND an i/m
of the sameeeeeeeeeee girl...
a picture of her..
with her shorts down,
fingering herself
assssss nakeddddd
another one of her and her breasts
and anotherrrrrr just frontal shot
and a vidddeooo mssg on my blackberry, im not even gonna describeeeeeeee
and i called my homies, they got the samee and MORE
and i asked where it originated from
and it was like..****** sent these pics to her boyfriend, and he sent them around

a)that's the most FUCKED UPPPPPP shit a nigga can do
that's some pussy ass, shameful ass shit right there

b)why would a girl do that in the first place?
if you got some kind of internet / phone relationship, thats ur biggest problem
u mite think ur boyfriend would never do that, but u cant trust that
what if someone photoshops a pic of you kissing his best friend (true story)\
then he's real sick, and sends it around?
what if someone hacks his blackberry, like mine did and gets to that shit
i myself would never do it, but im not asking no girl to trust me with that shit either
keep that shit in the bedroom man

you see those ads on the side of myspace and other shit talkin bout
"click here to talk to this hot chick now"
99.9% of those girls, have had their pics STOLEN from their myspace or sumthin
and usedddddd WITHOUT their consent. and techincally its Ok
cause w.ever u put on the net is fairrrrrrrrr gameeeeeeeeeeee

so be fuckin SMART about what u do, WHERE you do it and WHY. smhhhhh
Ladies...keep your goodies off the net!

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT//RYAN LESLIE

2008-12-08T15:37:00.000-08:00

Ryan Leslie.
my favorite dude in the game at the momenttttt
that's about it.

Santa!!!!!!

2008-12-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

today i took my little girl & her mom to go see Santa in the mall
and everybody's like "ohhhhh,awwwww,omgggggggggg"
and im just like staring at her..she realized it cause she starts
hitting me in the face lmao and she saw snow for the first time
in her lifeeeeeeeeee today, so i hadddd to take her outside in the jumper.
and the reason im writing about this..
is cause i dont understandddd, how a nigga can walk away from something
that he doesn't even know. i mean, i guess it's easy to walk away before they're born
cause u dont know the kid, and got no emotional attachment to em
but really, that's jus a bitch ass,weak ass,pussy ass move
if u couldn't provide, shoulda wrapped that shit up.
like looking at my daughter, i couldn't just walk out and never see her again

WTF WEEKENDS//Blackberry Drama

2008-12-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

alrighttttt. about two weeks ago
a stalker person im's me on my screename
and im always on aim on my blackberry storm so they're like
"Im Hacking your Blackberry on [so&so date]
and im hacking the s/n,myspace,blog,facebook
of anyone under the 'Mains' list on your buddy list"
so im like AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA this wack-o
but this cumshot REALLY DID HACK THOSE S/N's
my girlfriend...ex-girlfriend got her s/n hacked, her blog deleted,and facebook shit changed
all those ppl on my list got hacked in some way shape or form.
what that piece of dog shit ain't know tho, is that my uncle is a retired cop/detective
and i BEEEEEEEEN knew how to track niggas down,hack shit,get IP Adresses and etc.
so i track this nigga down...get the IP...even the address

idk what imma do with it yet =]

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONEEEEEEEEE!

via laptop in The Hamptons, NY.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT//NE-YO "MAD"

2008-11-26T16:57:00.000-08:00

ne-yo is probably the biggest r&b artist at the moment

and i love his music, i have every single album (real copies)

and his music just GETS me..idk

personally, this is one of my favorites so far.

this video, well the story behind it is

ne-yo gets into a fight with his girlfriend, and they're staying mad throught the vid

then a young child gets hit by a car as ne-yo tries to warn him

and he's saying that he knows there will be fights and shit, but he dont wanna go

to sleep angry. but they never make up, and at the end it flashes back to the accident

and instead of the boy, NE-YO is struck and killed. and his girl is weeping at the funeral

basically, it's relaying the mssg to try to lessen the fighting and bad feelings

in the relationship, because you never know what'll happen the next day... if there is one ...

BLACK FRIDAY MY ASSSSSSS!

2008-11-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

IM WORKING ON BLACK FRIDAY
at victoria's secret (34th St)
from get this...
8am - 11pm

(you would've never known, i barelyyyy show up to work)
but i get an email from my supervisor or something
that shit MUST have been a typo lmao
that's 15 hoursssssssssss! lmaoooooooo
i better be getting some TRIPLE ass overtime...
watever, im transferring back to the one in Philly next month =)
black friday is POINTLESS! why does everyoneeee decide to go shopping
the DAY after thanksgiving? why not the day after that?
who made that shit an unofficial holiday? damn!

Lloyd - "Around My Way"

2008-11-24T16:50:00.001-08:00

now im a cat, that has nothing to do at my apartment
because me and my girlfriend live in different states...
so i spend a lot of time watching music videos on tv
but i've never seen THIS oneeeee, and idk why!
and it's garbage.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: NiCKI MINAJ

2008-11-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

ight, if u dont kno who she is...she's basically the first lady of Dirty Money/Cash Money
signed under Weezy and shit. and personally
i can't STANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD her.
everything about her screams ghetto hoodrat. she's just not classy or anything
plus her rhymes are SUPER lame, her voice is annyoing as fuck.
and she's COCKYYYYYYYYY! now i can understand being cocky;
but ol girl is cocky and she hasn't made it yet
idk mannnn
to me, NO female rapper can touch Remy Ma orrr Lil Kim
i'll give her this though, nicki minaj is BOMBBBBBBB lookng =]

New!

2008-11-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

just ordered my FIRST obama t-shirt,
yea im late lol

and got this for the fuck of it
hot t-shirt

and this one for the girlfriend;
(tryna get in her pants)

Gotta See?

2008-11-17T19:24:00.001-08:00

shit looks funny as hellll
especially the part with the "OH, Black girls!..idk you" lmaooo
gotta see this one.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT//MURS

2008-11-13T16:23:00.001-08:00

he's not talked about enough.
he's WAY underrated, because hip-hop has gone commercial

"I'm a, hood legend, you should feel threatened
Front I'ma show you what's good in a second
The best in the business, I mean what is it?
The dopest MC to walk talk it and live it"

"Food for the soul, go ahead and grab a plateful
A heart full of hate, is a waste and disgraceful
Uhhhh, don't ingest, turn your stomach
When a brother only wanna see another brother plummet"

"Now some claim gangsta rap's the CNN of the streets
But it's used as an excuse to pretend over beats"

Point is, you NEEDA her what this guy has to say if you REALLY love hip-hop

Really Though?

2008-11-13T14:26:00.000-08:00

we saw this video in my Family Sociology class, to see how we'd react.
and to be honest, this shit pissed me OFF.
cause some grown man is actin like a 10 year old, ranting and raving
judging people all over the place like he's GOD.
i hope this is a joke....

Legit!!

2008-11-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

my favorite joint so farrrrrrrrrrrrr

keyboard, sounds,editing is all me
written by Jay and Rob .. on a napkin at Denny's lmao
and Ceaz (Chris) on the vocals
Rob on the voice overs

like without the smoothers and shit
so it sounds rough
rawwwwwwwww

2008-11-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

this is how we live in 08.

V.O.T.E 2008!

2008-11-03T21:32:00.001-08:00

ok, so it's 12:33am on november 4th.
probablyy the most important election dayy of our lifetime...
and i STILL dunno who to vote for.
im a registered indie
and i REALLY dont know.....

Obama wants to give more taxes to those who make more than $250,000?
together at my mom's household, between her and my stepdad
they're making around $510,000 annually.
my mom had my first brother when she was 16.
went back to HS, graduated from Med School and EARNED her own money.
so whyyyyyyyyyy should she be punished for that?
i don't mean to sound insensitive, but it's a dog eat dog world
whyy am i paying for a person who didn't finish high school, or get their GED
so they could get a good job's mistakes?
and when i get out of med school, i plan to make anywhere from $220,000-$270,000

but on the other side, i wanna vote for Obama. because he just seems like a warm,kind
and trustworthy person! i be eating this guy's words up.
plus he's black. i dont care what ANYONE says, that plays a factor.
democrats are literally more common folk. while republicans are usually the rich ones
plus i know some ppl who would just straight NOT talk to me, for being a traitor
and voting for McCain.
god forbid he passed tomorrow...SARAH PALIN?
i just can't take her seriously. sorry ladies, but it's true.

=/
guess i'll let you know tomorrow.

CLUB BANGERRRRR!

2008-10-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

deadass, i can't listen to this song without dancing
especially since im a dancin ass nigga
Pitbull is becoming one of my favorite club bangin artists.

Halloween 08

2008-10-31T12:28:00.001-07:00

i love halloween, because i always do something with my sisters
this year, my youngest sister, she's 9 .. she's gunna be the cookie monster
and her friend is gonna be elmo lol i fuckin LOVEEEEEEEEEE kids yo
so im about to take them trick or treating around like 5
then IM going lol me and my niggas, we're the ghostbusters
with the vacuums make outta cereal boxes and the hoses
shit's mad fresh.
we're bout to go trick or treating too...
then partying college style

ay, you ever notice that some girls dont even have costumes
but they just dress like sluts?
it's the one day of the year where a chick can dress like the biggest slut in the world
and go free with it....smh

Front Runners, Bandwagoners, Tag Alongs etc.

2008-10-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

i HATE, HATE, HATEEEEEEEEEEE when niggas front run.
for those who don't know what that means
it means choosing a team in the middle of a sports season
or at da begining of a new one
because they had a record of being niceeeeeee
to me, it's STUPID, cause it's not like ur gettin a check if they win
so what are u tryna prove?....

A.Boston Celtics
im tired of niggas talking about how much they like the Celtics
nigga im an ORIGINAL Celtics fan when i met Paul Pierce in 2004.
and i stayed fuckin with KG..but i admit, i didnt really fuck with Ray Allen
but still, i met Paul Pierce through some school shit back in Massachusetts
and got his autograph and shit (still have the poster) and he's been my hero ever since
08 CHAMPIONS

B.Phillies
fuck outta here! last year, no one knew who they were
but they've always been my favorite team because...im from Philly

C.Red Sox
niggas just bandwagon them like CRAZY.
where are they NOW? lmao
i personally hate the red sox, so im happy as hell

D.Cowboys
75% of Cowboys fans are bandwagonerssssss
it makes me laugh
how they aren't even that GREAT
5-3?
i fuck with the Panthers and the Eagles, and ONLY them

E.Michael Phelpsssss
lmao you forgot who he was right?
i knew that was gunna happen.
so to be honest, i wasn't hyped over him in the olympics
cause i BEEN knew he was beast, since Athens..unlike most
because im a swimmer myself

FAVORITE PRODUCERS

2008-10-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

i wish UPENN had a music engineering major program
cause i would've double majored that indefinitely!
but if you know me, then you know THIS is what i do in my spare time
just for the fuck of it...
my favorite producers THEN & NOW!

my ALL TIME FAVORITEEEEEEEEE
Bryan Michael Cox

i can't lie, i put THIS PARTICULAR ONE, because of homie in the blue
kept me dyingggggggggggg lmaooooooooooooooooo

Ryan Leslie

Danjahandz

Swizz

The Neptunes*
(Greatest Hits)

Darkchild

TOP 10.

2008-10-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

10.

everything about her is fake. eyes,breasts,lips

and she acts TOO wild, attention grabbin'..but she look good!
AUBREY O'DAY

09.

forever my wifey,

VANESSA BRYANT

08.

Victoria's Secret Model, i was lucky enough to MEET her

ADRIANA LIMA

07.
EVA LONGORIA

06.

got damn those dimples...

LAUREN LONDON

05.

almost tripped wen i seen her running in central park

CASSIE

04.

them lips!

KD AUBERT

03.
CHRISTINA MILIAN

02.

acutally one of my estranged sister's best friends so its awkward

but idc, because i have a huge crush on her

ERICA MENA

01.

favoriteeeeeeeeeeeeee chick of 2008
plus, we got the same birthday =)
& she bisexual? lord have mercy

MEGAN FOX

MOST OVERRATEDDDDD!!!!!!!!

she doesnt attract me at all, her music sucks, her shoes be redic

RiHANNA

MOST UNDERRATEDDD!!!!!!!!!

she's fucking beautiful in any way possible

people dont talk about her enough, she's a sleeper!

plus she's the star of my favorite show. fuck you!

LAUREN CONRAD

Hypnosis?

2008-10-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

All throughout my life, i've had people telling me that my worst habit
is SPITTING!!!!
i spit all the time, and i've been chewing gum everyday for 2 years
I CAN'T HELP IT! imma baseball player lol
so today, i was talking to my mother outside, and i hock a huge one out
and she's just like

"THAT'S IT! THAT'S ITTTTTT!
T.JEROME CAMERON NICHOLAS MILES
YOU'RE GOING TO STOP THAT, THAT'S iT! IM D0NE!"

it was funny lmao but she was serious
she wants to hook me up with a hypnotic person...PSHT!
im such a non-believer in that bullshit...but i guess it's worth a shot =/

in other news, i gotta go WRITE a whole sheet music piece
because im a MODERN / basic theory piano teacher...more like a mentor
and that just means that instead of playing Beethoven,Bach them old niggas
my students play Ne-Yo,Usher..basically anyy new music
like last week, me and a student/mentee worked on "Shake It" by MetroStation
(btw, i dont get paid for this...it's part of my MILLION hrs of community service)
sides that, i LOST my "Disney's Aladdin A Whole New World" sheet music
for this little 12 year old girl...and so now i gotta go play it
& WRITE MY OWN VERSION =| meanwhile i don't even read sheet music myself.... hahaa